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Tiny Wom-an Big Di-ck Por-n

2020.07.18 16:33 18Jlulenergetic Tiny Wom-an Big Di-ck Por-n

Tiny Wom-an Big Di-ck Por-n
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2020.05.14 21:15 eros_bittersweet [The Other Woman] Part 11

Previous

Part 11

Autumn was speechless. She stared at June as though she were immobilized. Blinking back the last of her tears, she raised her hand to her face as slowly as though she were sleepwalking, then wiped away the remaining traces of her crying.
June’s hands still rested on Autumn’s shoulders. Their weight seemed heavier the longer they stood. Perhaps Autumn’s guilt over what she’d done to the woman increased their perceived burden. But June’s blue eyes were gazing at Autumn tenderly, her dark brows knit together not in anger, but in concern.
“So what if the people at work know that I posed for some reference photos with you?” June asked, rubbing Autumn’s arm comfortingly. “Is that a crime or something?”
No, of course it wasn’t. But evidence of them hanging out together in their underwear was not exactly something Autumn should have been presenting at work, not if she wanted to appear professional. All of this should have been completely obvious, yet Autumn found she couldn’t voice what exactly she was so embarrassed about, which was the implication that something else was going on between them, a something-else for which nudity and close proximity were givens.
“Besides, if we’re keeping score or something, I still fucked you over way worse than whatever this was,” said June wryly. “I mean, the fact that you made a sexy drawing of me and showed it to people, even as a prank, almost seems like a compliment.”
“June,” Autumn protested, her face contorting in distress at the thought. “I wouldn’t ever do that to you. I wouldn’t make fun of you like that.”
“I know,” said June with a sigh. “Because I’m an asshole who thinks of the worst possible intention someone might have, and you’re literally an angel. Sweetie, of course you wouldn’t do that.”
Autumn hadn’t expected easy forgiveness and she found it almost humiliating that it was being offered. And it wounded her, that June thought Autumn might have lured her into posing semi-naked as a practical joke yet been willing to forgive her anyway. Now that she reflected on it, of course it seemed like a practical joke, and would have seemed that way to any reasonable person. How had she been so blind to what she was doing?
“I was so stupid,” Autumn said angrily. “And selfish, because I didn’t even think about how it would come across, using you like that – “
“You’re not selfish. Or stupid. And come on – you didn’t use me. Not at all.”
Autumn sighed. She started to protest that if it’d occurred to June they might be recognized by her co-workers, it certainly should have occurred to her, the woman who worked in advertising, who was supposed to be an expert on how things would be perceived by others. But somehow the distraction of June’s fingers, now gently stroking the back of her neck, circumvented her brain’s thought processes until there was no possibility of speaking left – not with that soft current of electricity running through her entire body.
“Sweetheart,” said June, flicking Autumn’s hair over her shoulder, then smoothing her hand down her back until the nape of Autumn’s neck thrilled with pleasure. “You are so tired right now. You’re not thinking straight – “
Autumn winced at that choice phrase.
“What?” said June. “You have time for a nap, right? Before you go to pick up Amber from daycare?”
“I have to be there at five sharp.”
“Then you still have time for a good power-nap,” said June, jostling her elbow playfully, at which Autumn couldn’t help but smile. “Two hours and fifteen minutes if you can get right out of bed in a hurry. Bet you’ll feel a hundred times better.”
Autumn agreed. “I’m just disappointed in myself,” she admitted. “And since I apparently can’t think through the implications anything before I do it lately, I kind of wish you’d said something to me if the thought crossed your mind.”
June made a face, avoiding eye-contact.
“I could see how it was,” she said. “You were so stressed out, and most of it was because of me being a burden on you in the past few days. If I said no to you, you would’ve been screwed for your presentation.”
“That doesn’t mean –“
“We’re talking in circles,” June interrupted, slipping her hand into Autumn’s. “Hey*.* Let’s talk after you have a nap, maybe later tonight. What do you say?”
Autumn reluctantly agreed. June beamed, then towed her by the arm through her own bedroom and into the ensuite bathroom. Autumn wasn’t certain of what she was doing, but a small flicker of excitement raced through her body that June had deemed it necessary to guide Autumn through the requisite preparations for taking an afternoon nap. She’d never been babied like this before – not by anyone. It was more than a little charming.
Once in the bathroom, June reached for a washcloth which she dampened under cool water. Then she dabbed at Autumn’s tear-stained face tenderly, as though she were a caring mother comforting a child after a nasty spill from a bicycle. Autumn couldn’t help but laugh at her over-the-top ministrations. Certainly, she could’ve managed to wash her own face before going to bed.
“June,” she said, smiling again despite her distress. She took the cloth from June’s hands and pressed it against her eyes, the damp cloth tingling against her overheated eyelids. “What are you doing?”
June wrapped an arm around Autumn’s shoulders. When Autumn lowered the washcloth to look at their reflections, June was grinning at her in the mirror.
“Making you feel better,” she said, her eyes brightening at the sight of Autumn’s smile. “At least I got a laugh out of you – “
“You’re really not mad at me,” repeated Autumn in disbelief. “Like, not even a little bit.”
June’s eyes were clear; her face free of malice.
“I’m really not,” she said. Taking the cloth from Autumn’s hands, she rinsed it again, then wrung it out and dabbed at Autumn’s forehead. She was standing so close that June could see the darker blue tinge ringing the pale shade of her irises; a few faint pockmarked scars on her forehead, a divot that appeared to have been left by a nose ring, the piercing all-but healed over now. She’d had one in her Instagram photos a few years ago, Autumn recalled, which hadn’t appeared in her photos since she’d started seeing Derek.
June blotted Autumn’s cheeks with the washcloth, then tilted her chin upwards and patted at her throat, which felt heavenly. Autumn’s skin prickled from her ears to her fingertips at the soft swipes of the cloth against her neck. “You, of all people, wouldn’t want to do something that embarrassed yourself at work. I don’t know you well, but I know that much about you.”
Autumn had to admit this was true.
“You’re so hard on yourself,” said June, lowering the cloth and caressing Autumn’s shoulder in her fingertips. “You made a mistake. I don’t even know how it was a mistake, because the presentation seems to have gone fine, no one was mad at you, I’m not mad at you, and you’re the only one who’s mad at yourself for some reason.”
Autumn shook her head.
“I just hate people talking about me, about my personal life,” she said, her voice hoarse from crying. “They were saying – “
“Saying what?” June made a silly face right next to Autumn’s head, her eyes dancing. “Lemme guess - that we’re a couple of lesbos?”
Autumn’s face flushed hot. She didn’t return June’s mirthful expression. She stared at June, eyes wide in fear, almost too afraid to breathe.
“How could they think that?” said June mockingly, arching an eyebrow. “it’s not like we took pictures of us half-naked together or anything.”
Autumn’s heart was pounding so hard it thrummed in her ears. She dropped her eyes to the ground and gripped the edge of the countertop with her fingertips.
“Sweetie,” June was saying, her voice distant against the roaring in Autumn’s head. “You know I’m just teasing you, right?”
Autumn couldn’t stand it – couldn’t stand June teasing her about this, about the thing that people were, indeed, assuming about the two of them. She gripped the edge of the cold countertop in her fingertips, exhaling slowly, trying to calm her racing pulse.
June uttered a low exclamation, reiterating that she was sorry for being such a jerk, asking if –
Autumn couldn’t even hear the words she said, so loud was the ringing in her head which drowned out everything else. She hadn’t been sure, until this very moment, whether she was more afraid that June had been joking in all this, or that she’d been serious. Knowing which direction it had gone – that her flirtation, or friendship, with Autumn, was all some kind of light-hearted joke to her –
“Say something,” June was begging her. “Please.”
But Autumn didn’t say anything. Instead she threw herself forcefully against June. Wrapping her arms around June’s neck, she planted her face, still raw from crying, against June’s soft shoulder. She was asking, wordlessly, for the one thing she needed most: the reassurance that June would still touch her affectionately even if people were assuming they were a couple of lesbians; that even though June evidently found the label to be something laughable, it wouldn’t make her stop acting the way she did around Autumn.
June let out a little “oof” of surprise. With a soft chuckle, as though nothing could have surprised her more than this reaction, she placed one hand on the back of Autumn’s head, cradling it against her own shoulder. Autumn's entire body sagged against June’s in relief; forehead pressed against the comforting material of June’s sweater, knees knocking against June’ legs, hip jutting against June’s softly rounded stomach, June’s breasts pushed against her ribcage. Autumn’s entire body seemed to melt against the voluptuousness of June’s until thought itself blurred, until she was only conscious of the soft breathing in her ear and the small movements of June’s body against hers.
“Love,” June said in a strained tone.
Autumn raised her head.
“This is really hurting my tits,” June blurted.
Autumn laughed. Reluctantly, she freed June from the prison of her arms.
***
They’d fallen asleep with an almost wordless agreement between them to not question what it was that they were doing together. Well, it would’ve been entirely wordless if June hadn’t broken the spell right before they fell asleep by raising the issue once more.
Autumn had awkwardly turned her back to June, stripped off her sweater and peeled down her jeans, then scrambled under the covers. To her surprise, June removed her own sweater and crawled in next to her, still wearing her tank-top and yoga pants.
“Is this all right?” June asked hesitantly, one hand still holding the sheets, her knee perched on the mattress. “I could go to my own room – “
“Stay,” said Autumn, lifting the covers as June settled in next to her. “I guess Jaxynn will wake you up if she needs you. Door’s open to her room so you can hear her?”
June nodded.
“She was up for most of the morning, and for way too long last night,” she said blearily. “So she’s really due for a long nap. I could use more sleep, if you don’t mind me crashing next to you.”
Autumn turned her body so it was facing June’s, settling her head on the pillow right next to the flowing strands of June’s hair.
“Can you sleep with someone lying right next to you?” Autumn asked.
“You can’t?”
Autumn frowned as she considered the question. Given past experience, it wasn’t very likely that she would sleep well; she’d never liked sharing a bed with her ex-husband, who had snored and overheated and kicked and generally disturbed her five times a night. But sleeping next to June -
“Depends on the person,” she finally said, pushing away the slight thrill that coursed through her at the thought. “If I’m comfortable around them –“
June rolled to her side and grinned, her nose inches away from Autumn’s.
“Do I qualify?”
“We’re going to find out,” said Autumn, smiling back. It made her happy, in some inexpressible way, that June had evidently decided to forget her earlier questions, to be light-hearted and playful with her again.
“Are you gonna be pissed if my feet wander over to your side you while you sleep?”
Autumn poked June’s leg with one of her toes, which made her giggle.
“I’m kind of a snuggler,” June announced. “I’m warning you right now, I will latch onto anyone I’m not actively divorcing like a goddamned barnacle. So, if you wake up with my arm over you, just give me a shove and I’ll roll back to my side of the bed. All right?’
“And what if I don’t?” said Autumn, still smiling. “What if I find out I like you where you are?”
June laughed her full-throated, slightly over-loud laugh. Her face wore an amused smirk as she wormed her hand through some nonexistent gap between Autumn’s body and the bed, threading an arm around her shoulders. Autumn settled herself down against June’s chest, in a mild state of shock that June had scooped her into an embrace like that. June wriggled her entire body a few inches closer to Autumn’s before nestling her head back down on the pillow. Autumn’s legs, stick-straight, were uncomfortably stacked next to June’s like firelogs, so she experimentally raised her knee, then slung her thigh over June’s hip. June laughed again, giving her a small, affectionate squeeze.
“Comfy?” June asked.
Autumn had never been more comfortable, nor more wrapped-up in anyone, in her entire life – not even when she’d been married. As her chin pressed against the soft flesh of June’s breasts, she timidly placed an arm underneath them, resting it against the bottom of June’s ribcage, where the soft rise and fall of her chest displaced it in a soothing rhythm. She closed her eyes and breathed in against June’s neck. There was no perfume there today, though some faint basenotes of scent wafted to her nose from June’s tank-top, its sweet, faintly floral musk seeming to emanate from the fabric itself.
“Very,” she said contentedly.
June laughed again, a note of perplexity in her voice.
“So, you’re totally cool with this?” she asked, as though she couldn’t quite believe Autumn’s words. “Me cuddling you to sleep?”
Autumn snorted. As if she hadn’t climbed almost on top of June with little prompting.
“Really,” she said with a small grin, giving June’s lower ribs a squeeze. “You have to ask?”
“I’m not pushing you into doing anything you don’t want to do, like, in everything we’ve done together, right?”
Autumn raised her head off the pillow and propped herself up on her elbow. June’s face was slightly drawn; the dark circles under her eyes seemed to have deepened.
“No,” Autumn said cautiously. “Why?”
June’s eyes flickered over Autumn’s face. “I care about you,” she said, after a long pause. “And I didn’t think you minded any of, well, – “
Autumn flinched. She closed her eyes, as if by not seeing June, she could prevent the words she knew were coming.
“No,” she said firmly. “I don’t mind any of this. Of course not.”
June sighed a sigh that was tinged with a note of something Autumn couldn’t name.
“Ok,” said June, as though she’d resigned herself to something. “I get it. If this is how it’s going to be – “
Autumn raised her head again. She looked perplexedly at June, who was gazing up at her with a strange vulnerability in her eyes.
“I would never do this for anyone else,” June said, seemingly to herself. Her face looked slightly wounded. “Only for you.”
Autumn glanced down at her own semi-clothed body entangled with June’s and couldn’t help but smile.
“I’ve never done this with anyone,” she announced. “Ever.”
June blinked up at her in surprise.
“I guess Derek’s not much of a snuggler,” she muttered. “Really, babe? You’ve never cuddled with someone in bed?
“No.”
“Not even before Derek.”
“I never dated guys who wanted to cuddle.”
“And you’ve only ever dated guys.”
Autumn nodded.
June sighed a slightly exasperated sigh. She pressed a hand to her forehead.
“I don’t know if my heart can take this,” she said. “What are you doing to me?”
Autumn didn’t quite know what she meant, and she was almost afraid to ask.
“Don’t answer that,” grumbled June. “I think if I asked what you thought we were doing right now, the answer might actually kill me. Just lie down and go to sleep, you innocent angel.”
Autumn was tired enough to unquestioningly obey her. As dizzying waves of sleep pulled her exhausted mind in and out of consciousness, she reflected that her own heart had never been happier.
***
“I need more towels,” the attendant was saying to housekeeping via phone. “For the couple in 869. Thanks so much.”
The couple? Autumn’s face was fiery-hot. She shifted Amber higher on her hip and glanced over at June, who was grinning in amusement. June held Jaxynn in one arm in the baby-carrier, a bag stacked full of takeout containers in her other hand. If they could just get this errand done, said containers would soon be spread over the coffee-table as they enjoyed the absolute feast of sushi they’d ordered. Autumn had not eaten anything since her gas-station sugar-binge in Sara’s car and was absolutely starving.
“You wouldn’t believe how you go through towels with two babies,” said June cheerfully, evidently deciding to go along with his presumption. “We really appreciate it.”
“I’ve got a couple of my own,” the man said with a grin. “So I know for a fact that you two deserve this holiday.”
“Oh, she deserves it more than I do,” June bantered back. “This angel over here had to go into work this morning and she spent most of last night working when she should’ve been on holiday. I’m gonna make it up to her tonight.”
The man tsked.
“Well, they better give you a raise,” he said with a shake of his head. “Working nights with two small kids who get you up early is no fun – I know that for a fact.”
Despite her embarrassment, Autumn couldn’t help but awkwardly smile at the man. For some strange reason she found she had no desire to correct him. June was evidently enjoying this latest public misunderstanding of the relationship between them, no doubt to laugh later over the idea of their being thought lesbians by yet another person, which stung Autumn’s heart more than a little bit. But she quite liked the way June was looking at her, still cracking jokes over her hardworking “wife“ taking the family on an impromptu holiday to spoil them all like the angel incarnate she was. The look in June’s eyes was almost proud, as though June, despite her love of a good joke, really did enjoy the idea of Autumn as her spouse. That made it almost more painful, the thought that she wasn’t actually taking any of this seriously whatsoever.
Her eyes flicked back to the attendant, who was enthusiastically talking about his babies, aged three and four. June was cooing over the pictures of his children on his cellphone; two adorably pudgy baby boys, ensconced in the arms of him and his husband, both of them grinning as handsomely as catalogue models. June held up Jaxynn’s baby-carrier so she could be admired, admiration which the infant certainly deserved. Jaxynn was bright-eyed and cooing after her nap, brown curls soft against her forehead, her dimples adorable against her pink cheeks. One would never know she had spent hours of the past night screaming for no apparent reason between hours of nursing, so well-rested and healthy did she look.
Amber, next in line for the man’s praise, was, quite understandably, not ready to be exhibit 4 in the lineup of happy, contented children raised by supposedly gay parents. After her traumatic previous night and a full day of daycare, Autumn’s daughter appeared as though she’d been through the wars. Her red curls were tangled, her eyes bleary; there was a nasty-looking and inexplicable rash on her arm, and though she was quiet right now, her dark eyes were serious. Her small throat emitted sounds of increasing distress, as though she were a bird warning the group of nearby predators. Her child’s fear of strangers was literally the only thing keeping her quiet. Autumn knew that as soon as they stepped into the elevator, Amber was going to proceed into a nuclear-level meltdown; that every minute they lingered here chitchatting, it would only be worse.
“I think she needs some quiet time right now,” Amber finally interrupted the man, who was trying to win her daughter over by making silly faces at her. She patted Amber’s back and kissed her cheek, at which Amber whimpered and rubbed her eyes. “Sorry; she’s kind of overtired. Daycare said she didn’t nap at all.”
“Of course,” said the man. “And I should get back to work. Sorry for keeping you.”
Amber was making sounds of distress because everyone was looking at her, something she hated more than anything else. She glanced between the three adult faces one by one, and then her baby mouth scrunched up in anger, displaying her dimples as she emitted an absolutely plaintive sob.
“Gosh, your daughters really do look alike,” the man marveled. ”They both have those dimples. Isn’t that something.”
“They have the same father,” June announced.
“Oh, you used the same sperm donor?”
Autumn met June’s eyes, which were so wild with hilarity that she couldn’t speak. She was laughing soundlessly, reaching out an arm to hold Autumn for support, giggling as though this was the best joke she’d ever heard in her life. A tear streaked down her cheek before she shrieked the loudest, most obnoxious, braying laugh Autumn had ever heard in her entire life, whose peals resonated around the granite surfaces of the lobby until Autumn was half-deaf with the noise.
And Autumn, despite her embarrassment, finally saw how very funny this was, how much like the truth the man’s mistaken impression had turned out to be.
“Yes,” she said to him, grinning. “Sperm donor is a more accurate way of putting it.”
The man looked slightly confounded by their reaction, but no quick explanation would have possibly sufficed. Amber, terrified half to death by June’s wild shrieking, began howling like a siren as the four of them hustled to the elevator.
NEXT (NSFW)
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2020.03.10 11:45 Fwoggie2 Covid-19 update Tuesday March 10th

Good morning from the UK.

Virus statistics

Region Today Yesterday % Change
Global 113,672 101,923 +11.5%
China 80,924 80,565 +0.4%
Italy 9,172 7,375 +24.4%
South Korea 7,513 7,382 +1.8%
Iran 7,161 6,566 +9.1%
France 1,412 1,116 +26.5%
Germany 1,139 902 +26.3%
USA 755 547 +38.0%
Spain 1,024 589 +73.9%
Japan 514 488 +5.3%
Switzerland 332 332 No change
UK 323 277 +16.6%
Netherlands 321 265 +21.1%

Countries with under 250 identified infections not listed. Total countries infected worldwide = 110, an increase from yesterday of 6. Source: The WHO dashboard (Link), except for USA where I'm using the John Hopkins University dashboard (Link). Given Italy had 647 cases only 11 days ago and now has over 1,000% that number (archive.is source), it's reasonable to expect quarantines to one degree or another to come into place in a week or two for any country currently over 250.
Reminder, these are identified case counts and medical experts are reporting this virus has a long incubation period with people being infections despite displaying no symptoms; the true infection figures are likely to be much higher.

Virus reaction

Italy quarantines itself - As many will already know, the Italian Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte ordered the shutdown of the whole of Italy (Guardian: Link) late yesterday (Monday). “There is no more time. I will take responsibility for these measures. Our future is in our hands,” he told reporters. In Italy under the decree, all public events will be banned, cinemas, theatres, gyms, discos and pubs closed, and funerals, weddings and sporting events cancelled – including Serie A matches (the highest football/soccer league in the country). All schools and universities will remain closed until 3 April. Under the new decree, people will only be able to travel between cities for emergency reasons and can face fines and up to three months in jail for breaking quarantine rules. Checkpoints on motorways, toll booths, train stations and airports are expected to be introduced on Tuesday. Those who have to leave their region or their cities out of serious necessity can do so only if they have self-certification stating that they must cross the borders for compelling business reasons, health reasons, or because they have to return home. The Guardian points out in its live blog (Link) that the quarantine measures do appear to be working; infection rates are dropping in the eleven towns that were already quarantined more than two weeks ago. (Personal note: I checked FedEx, DHL and UPS service alerts for Italy; FedEx and DHL still aren't delivering to the 11 quarantined towns but say nothing for the rest of Italy, UPS says it's operating in Italy as normal).

Social media thoughts on Italy's battle with the virus - two threads have gone viral in the past 24 hours (neither can be corroborated but they seem reasonably believable to me). The first from an epidemiologist repeats the thoughts of a doctor working in a badly affected Italian hospital - the ER is becoming overwhelmed, everyone is being admitted for the same reason, all beds are full and staff are badly fatigued. You can read it here, she provided a follow up link at the bottom. The other is reporting on what his friend in Italy's medical system says and it's much the same thing - there is not enough equipment to meet the surge in demand, staff are becoming overwhelmed and those over 65 are not even being assessed and nobody is available to help them if they arrest (that link is here) - I assume they mean they are being forced to let the patient die because they are overwhelmed with other patients who are better placed to survive.

Is this a pandemic or not - Vox has written an interesting article on why the WHO still hasn't called it a Pandemic despite senior politicians in several countries doing just that. The reason - it's political (link).

Family of Missouri's first coronavirus patient broke self-quarantine, attended school dance - Fox News reports that the father of the first patient disobeyed self-quarantine rules and went to a school dance with his other daughter. Villa Duchesne and Oak Hill School will close on Monday; Villa is an all-girls school that serves grades seven through 12, while Oak Hill is a coed school that teaches preschool through grade six.

UAE bans all cruise ship visits until further notice - Splash247 reports that the Federal Transport Authority of the United Arab Emirates has decided to suspend all cruise operations at the country’s ports as part of precautionary measures to prevent the spreading of coronavirus. Ferry services to Iran were already suspended last month.

Other virus reactions in brief - Sources Guardian live blog (linked above) and Al-Jazeera live blog (link)
- The president of the European parliament announced he will self isolate for the next two weeks and work from home after visiting Italy over last weekend
- Poland has cancelled all mass public gatherings
- Pope Francis has urged priests to have the courage to go out and visit the sick and elderly
- Greek MPs are warning the health system on the island of Lesbos (which is host to 27,000 migrants and refugees is becoming overwhelmed and needs urgent help)
- Moldova is banning entrants via air from any country recording infections. Separately, Morocco has cancelled all flights to Italy as has the major European airline Norwegian airlines. Australian airline Qantas has grounded eight of its 10 A380 planes and is rerouting flights as it grapples with a sharp drop in demand; it's suspending 25% of its flights worldwide.
- The French culture minister has contracted the virus and is self isolating
- The UK's deputy chief medial officer has being doing the media tour this morning; she told Sky News that many thousands will become infected in the UK with mortality rates initially rising before falling again
- The Grand Princess cruise ship has finally docked in San Francisco with 21 cases onboard. Canada and the UK have said they will fly their citizens home; US citizens will be taken to military bases for 2 weeks quarantine.
- For the 3rd day in a row no local transmissions of the virus have been recorded in China outside of Hubei province
- China's President Xi has visited Wuhan for the first time since the outbreak started in a move widely seen as authorities feeling that the tide is turning in the fight against the virus.
- In Singapore non residents will now have to pay for healthcare if they are admitted to hospital with the Coronavirus (previously it was free). The government added that testing of foreign visitors will remain free.
- The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, Wellcome and Mastercard pledged $125m to support the development of treatments for the coronavirus.
- Mongolia has quarantined all of its major cities after it discovered its first case.
- US forces in South Korea and Japan have been confined to their bases (source: NPR.org, link)

Economics

What are people panic buying - Strategyonline.ca reports has the answer (link), at least for Canadian consumers. Apart from the obvious sanitisers and masks, other products include cough and herbal remedies, baby products, dried food and deodorant with demand for oat milk nearly having tripled.

Virus Makes Lobsters So Cheap That Sellers Face a Fatal Blow - Supplychainbrain reports (link) that U.S. lobster prices have plummeted to the lowest in at least four years after the spread of the virus halted charter flights to Asia at a time when sales usually boom for Chinese New Year celebrations. The fallout has left thousands of pounds of unsold lobster flooding North American markets and squeezing U.S. businesses that were already hurting from lost sales due to China’s tariffs from its trade war with Washington. “This is like a fatal blow,” said Stephanie Nadeau, owner of Arundel, Maine-based The Lobster Co., which saw orders to Hong Kong shrivel from about 1,000 boxes a week to a total of 120 boxes -- each carrying 33 pounds -- since late January. “I’m about to lay off most of my employees.” The article goes on to discuss similar impacts hitting Canada, Australia and New Zealand lobster fisheries.

Supply chain

COVID-19 swallows $400 million revenue of African airlines - logupdateafrica.com says (link) the major African airlines have to date suffered $400m USD of revenue losses due to a collapse in demand. Several African airlines such as South African Airways, Royal Air Maroc, Air Tanzania, Air Mauritius, EgyptAir, RwandAir and Kenya Airways have suspended flights to and from China. Meanwhile, Ethiopian Airlines is still operating flights to and from five cities in China. Losses are expected to rise further.

Carriers eye empty passenger services to keep intra-Asia air cargo moving - The Loadstar says that Cathay Pacific (the major HK based airline) is thinking of using some passenger aircraft for cargo only flights to keep cargo moving around Asia. “Although we expect our passenger belly cargo operations to be impacted, we are evaluating how to continue serving our cargo customers to and from Japan,” Cathay said. “This includes the retention of certain passenger services for cargo carriage only.” The article goes on to quote a CEO of a large logistics firm: “We suggest customers consider ocean freight, rail freight, sea-air freight and even road freight, such as China-ASEAN cross-border trucks to diversify the risk. It is anticipated that surging demand of rail freight will also drive rate increases. In the meantime, more and more charter flight services will be launched in the market to soften demand”.

U.S. Exempts Face Masks, Medical Products From China Tariffs - Supplychainbrain.com reports that the US administration has lifted tariffs on face masks and medical products. One manufacturer is quoted as saying that the global production of the product is significantly limited to China, and changing to U.S. or third-country manufacturers “is not practical or competitive." "Additional duties on such products would cause major financial harm and increase costs to healthcare providers and their customers in the United States,” the company added.

iPhone 11 shortages in the US - the German tech website heise.de is reporting (link, in German) that in parts of the USA stocks of iPhone 11 models have run out and there is no sign of a resupply. It notes that the manufacturer FoxConn is struggling with its factories at an estimated 50% operational capacity. For the time being, availability in Germany remains good.

Israel: Courtesy of the Coronavirus, That Order From Amazon Could Take a Month to Reach Your Front Door - the major newspaper Haaretz has warned that if flights inbound from the US stop, it may take up to a month for Amazon orders to arrive - already AliExpress orders have plummeted in Israel as suppliers have struggled to ship out of Israel. Some e-commerce firms are countering by using connecting flights if direct ones have been cancelled. “In the worst case, and we’re closed to the U.S., they’ll be a real pogrom for the delivery sector. It means that deliveries won’t go out at all and there will be real shortages of merchandise,” one courier manager said. “The logistics universe comprises of lots of intermediate stops, The expectation now is that every link will be affected. If people are in lockdown, it means warehouse workers, delivery people and customs inspectors – everyone who comes into contact with the package, and that’s scores of hands until it reaches the customer.” He said he expected that to happen in weeks, maybe days, as the coronavirus, spreads to countries that are relevant to the supply chain that serve Israel such as Britain, Germany and the U.S.

Major UK supermarket chains now rationing sales for some products due to heavy demand - the BBC reports that Tesco and some other supermarket chains are now rationing sales of certain products both online and in store including antibacterial gels, wipes and sprays, dry pasta, UHT milk and some tinned vegetables. According to a survey from Retail Economics, as many as one in 10 UK consumers is stockpiling, based on a sample of 2,000 shoppers.

Good news section

Major UK automotive company Jaguar Land Rover says its supply chain is holding up - having hit the headlines a few weeks ago for flying in suitcases of key fobs, logisticsmanager.com reports that the automotive firm is saying its supply chain is holding up with most of its suppliers back online. JLR said it has visibility of availability of most parts out two weeks or more and had managed to avoid potential parts shortages by working closely with its suppliers and with some increased use of air freight. In the event of specific parts shortages, it warned, JLR would ordinarily be able to still build cars and retrofit missing parts when available, however, it said it could not rule out the risk that a shortage of a critical component could impact production at some point.
EDIT: Table formatting
EDIT 2: Lesbos isn't in Italy
submitted by Fwoggie2 to supplychain [link] [comments]


2019.12.29 08:30 niceguyputin Uncle Vasya’s Guide to Threesomes

Uncle Vasya’s Guide to Threesomes
And now, the quest begins, to nab the Holy Grail of manhood
I'd love, to score hot twins, like any hokey porno fan would
Although, that would be swell, they just don't sell, that stuff on e-bay
And yet, still hope I'll get, to have a three-way
-“Threeway” parody of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”
So you want a threesome.1 Well, you think you do – like the song says, they are basically the Holy Grail for heterosexual men from the time we become sexually aware – but the reality may be different than you think. Or not. Oh, and the worst part about threesomes is, after the sex is over, you now have TWO girls in the room asking "So....what are you thinking about?"
Intrepid readers, please continue.
1 For purposes of this discussion, I mean the “Love Sammich” (FFM) threesomes; a “Devil’s Threeway” (MMF) is otherwise called a “train” in my world. Because really, fuck that noise. There will be cries of “No fair!” That usually comes from girls who aren’t that down, or who want to extract something. I’ve never had a girl who legit wanted a 3way demand “reciprocity”. They will almost universally specify a female partner. Also biologically, FFM couplings make more sense – they give women access to higher status men and they give higher status men more opportunity to propagate their genetic legacy.
The Typical Situation
The typical situation that arises that arises for men is, they have a girlfriend, maybe the girlfriend has hinted that she might be willing to do a Love Sammich, maybe she hasn’t. How to find out? As I often recommend, get girls talking, and you will find out all sorts of useful information.
I get girls comfortable, and I ask them about what their deepest, most secret, greasiest little fantasy is. There is the usual flowery bullshit that they put up as a smoke screen about wanting to “make love” on a beach at sunset2 or on a bed covered with rose petals, and then there are two that recur:
A. “Tie me up!”
B. “I wanna have sex with another girl!”
So here’s the thing: if your girl, at bottom, isn’t bi-curious of doesn’t want to have a threeway, then that’s how it is. Don’t nag, cajole, pester or beg. Make a decision as to whether you’re going to end the relationship or not. OTOH, if you a spinning plates, then, well, you don’t have that problem, do you?
Whether you are looking for the second girl or starting from scratch (with a willing gf) the next question that arises is, where to find the 2nd girl? Recently I was asked in askTRP where to meet bi-girls. Well, first, there isn’t typically a “bi-girl hangout joint” that you can google. OTOH, you meet bi and bi-curious women everywhere. You just have to gather information, and make the sale.
The good news: unlike men, who are basically "AC" or "DC", many/most women are at least "bi-curious".
The bad news: bi-girls tend to be flaky as fuck. As in “have the stability of the high-numbered stuff on the Periodic Table.”
2 Nobody actually wants to do this. If they do, they don’t want to do it again. Two Words: “sand” and “crevices”. You can work out the rest.
The Hierarchy
I think it’s actually better to find two girls at the same time, or approximately the same time, before the relationship (if there is or will be one) with one girl is more formalized. Why? Because once a girl is invested in you, she has something to lose. The “girlfriend” is very often going to want to impose a bunch of stupid rules – do NOT let her do this because they are often designed to fuck you over, like not letting you screw the other girl. Don’t let her ruin your fun. One way to avoid this is to put Girl2 on her back have the girlfriend lower her pussy on to the other girls mouth facing away from you, who will be mounting Girl2. Or lay on the bed, have the girlfriend in reverse cowgirl and have Girl2 sit on your face. Or have the girlfriend sit on your face, and have Girl2 blow you.
The girlfriend is pulling this “hierarchy” shit because girls are very often insecure. That’s why she wants ….
A Girl who Looks Like Me
My girlfriend's girlfriend, she looks like you
My girlfriend's girlfriend, she's my girl too
-“My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend”, Type O Negative
If you are in an established relationship with a girl who is exploring her bi-ness for the first time, don’t be surprised when she says that she wants to lose her lesbo-virginity with a girl who “looks like me”. Girls who look like her will be less threatening. You’re not going to dump her for a girl who looks like her, because you already have a girl who looks like her. On the other hand, if she’s a brunette and you partner up with a hot blonde, you (‘her’ man) may suddenly discover that you like blondes better, and dump her by the side of the road. For men, the big fear, in terms of biology, is being cucked; for women it is loss of resources, which in the Bad Old Days of the Saber Tooth Tiger, could mean death for her and her offspring.
The Mechanics
So you get them to own up to their lezzy desires, and then you get two of them together. Also, don't do anything like go on a "date" or some other dumb shit to "set the mood". They will want to do that. Do not. Get them together, have anyone who needs a shot do one, and then get busy. You’re dealing with two Hamsters. Elongating the time frame gives one or the other hamster time to hamster way and blow up your perfectly good 3way.
Get down to business, before shit slips away from you.
You Have the Right to Remain Silent
“When a girl wants to fuck you, shut up and let it happen.” - Chris Rock
So I coached a buddy of mine through his first 3-way last fall. He had a FWB relationship with a girl who was sort of into the 3way idea, but was also pitching it as “Hey, Ima do this for you, and then we’re going to be exclusive, m’kay?” covert contract. He didn’t make any promises, but went ahead anyway.
Now, said FWB had a thing about the other girl – she was a plate, and she was doing other people also – staying over, i.e. she very much did NOT want that to happen. Hierarchy and all that. Logistics dictated otherwise. He asks me if he should tell the first girl that that 2nd girl is likely going to stay over. Me: “Only do that if you have decided that you definitely DO NOT WANT the 3way to happen.” So a good time was had by all, but guess who left in a huff after when it was discovered that Girl2 was sleeping over? Exactly. Tell her that before? No 3way. Why that mattered, I don’t know, but it did. Girls are retarded. He texted me after:
Him: “You were right about everything.”
Me: “That happens a lot. Like all the time. It can be a curse, really.”
Your Job is to Have a Cock
For a lot of bi-curious women, they want the comfort of a man's cock in the room so they didn't have to think, "But…but…but what if I'm a Giant Lesbo?!" Once things get rockin’, she may forget about that bit and be more into the other chick. Don’t worry about it. Encourage her, and then reap the rewards of being a chill guy later.
You Are the Director of Your Own ‘Porn Film’
In our meat triangle, all tangled. Wow.
-“My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend”, Type O Negative
So very often what happens with first timers is, the girlfriend turns out to be way into it and the guy starts feeling left out. So put yourself back in the game. Direct traffic, decide who is doing what to whom and when. And after they’ve had a shot at each other, get your double-team blowjob (see below). Never assume that the girls are going to know what you want. You’re the leader of the pack, so lead them.
Fun Stuff
So the point of having a 3way is to do stuff that you can’t do with just one woman.
You know what’s better than getting a blowjob from one woman? Getting a blowjob from two women.
Have one work your dick while the other one gargles your nutsack or rims you. Just trusting me on the rimming part.
You are The Sherriff
As I have alluded to before, I like tying girls up. Always have, always will. I have also known from my childhood that I am crazy strong and I can hurt people even when I don’t mean to. Lots of people turn into sadistic motherfuckers when they have control over another person – google the “Stanford Prison Experiment”. There is (supposedly) a lot of violence in lesbian relationships and you have to be careful to not let shit get out of hand if you are using BDSM in your threeway, which is a distinct possibility because some girls will want to be tied up so they can hamster away the part where they are lezzing out isn’t “their fault”.
If you are using BDSM, the same rules apply as always: you have to understand the sub’s limits and you can’t let the other girl beat the shit out of the sub, or at least exceed the sub’s limits. One way to handle this is to tell the girl who isn’t going to be tied up that you are going to tie her up later and give the sub a crack at her. That often keeps girls in the right frame of mind.
The “Household of Three”
Throw away your dad’s morality, your mom’s conventionality it’s not for me
If it were me and you and you and her and her and me, we’d be so happy together
-You & Me & Her, -Itis
That’s what ménage à trois actually means: Household of Three. While we typically think of them as one-offs, you may find that you like the lifestyle, which is fine as long as everyone is on board. Previously, I was in a couple of separate relationships that were "households of three" as it were. In the first case, an ex-gf circled back around because she really wanted to have sex with her roommate - I could hardly blame her; the girl was hot. The ex also knew that the roommate was not going to be DTF unless there was a cock in the room. To the ex, I was a "known quantity" (i.e., if she fucks me again, she's still at "N+0") and she knew I'd be able to close the deal, which I was. So she basically set me up with the roommate, knowing full well that (a) I would seduce her, and (b) I would happily share, and once the girl got comfortable, she'd open up a bit. Anyway, that lasted about a year and a half and was Big Fun all the way around.
In the other case, I was meeting a girl I was dating at a club and I ran into her "genetic twin" – they could have been sisters. So, knowing the girl I was dating would be DTF her, I established that Girl2 was down, and then the first girl showed up and soon enough we were in a relationship together. The two girls wound up becoming roommates later on, which made it convenient for me – I would refer to our sessions as “roommating”. While I don’t make a habit of it, I do throw in the occasional “dad” joke.
So you do have to be able to manage jealousy issues, both inside and outside of the relationship. Especially at the beginning they will be conscious of being treated "equally" or sometimes the girl who you knew first wants some advantage, but you have to squelch that nonsense early on.
Anyway, time moves on, and things change. The roommate from the first story got married and has a kid, now. She seems happy, so good for her. The ex from that tale sort of went off the deep end. She posed in Playboy (so I can cross that off my bucket list) and moved to Europe where she's presently being used as a cum dumpster by her "sponsor' and has a well-developed drug habit.
Of the two girls in the other threesome, one became a chef, and the other one (that was the one I mistook for the first one) is a teacher now. She is still useful as a 'corner square' in 'girl-girl-Vasya' tic-tac-toe. It’s useful to have a deep bench.
Of my two LTRs, the first is more “NO WAY!” than “3Way!” which is fine; that’s her nature and her choice. OLTR2 has recently expressed an interest and, luckily, I know some bi-girls who would LOVE a crack at her – all of which will be carefully stage-managed by me, if and when it happens – this stuff is tricky, after all.
Managing Relationships Between the Girls
She could help you cook & clean and she'd know just what you mean, (someone who listens)”
And as I snore away the night, she could always hold you tight, (it's what we're missin')
-You & Me & Her, -Itis
The Ex and Roommate negotiated a rather complex treaty about managing things when I wasn't around (they were both young (early 20s) and had things like "parents", so there was some discussion about whose 'boyfriend' I was going to be at whose house, etc., if and when it came up.) It was kind of funny, because I pointed out to my ex, that, when I wasn't around, she "was the boyfriend" - the other girl was a bit more of a girly-girl than she was.
The teacher and the chef were more independent – no pesky family nearby. The chef was more of the “boyfriend” in that situation, but it was less pronounced.
I also have a bit of an odd situation going on with a couple of plates – one is a dancer who is only down for threeways…BUT, she’s in love with one of my plates. The plate is in love with me. The dancer is terrified that I will “take [my plate] away” from her.” It creates an interesting power dynamic, but luckily for all concerned I’m a benevolent dictator. As time goes on, the dancer will either acclimate and accept things as they are, or she will not.
Relationships With The Outside World
Her and me and her and she and me
An uncrowded couple; are we three
Hey we don't care what people say
When walking hand in hand down Kings Highway
Two for one today
-“My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend”, Type O Negative
This can be complicated. You run into problems with judgy bluepills, especially “ladies of a certain age” spinsters who feel “entitled”, and Bitter, Butthurt BetasTM who are miffed at the perceived misallocation of pussy-related resources. I prefer to opt for an “unapologetic” stance. “Which one are you with?” – “Both of them” – “But there are two girls” – “Yes, I know. It’s nice.”
There will be the occasional double-takes, although I find that when I’m in Continental Europe it’s less of a big deal. Once I have arranged a hotel suite for me and one of the pairs at a place where I sometimes stay on business in Europe. So in making the reservation by phone - I had to in order to get a suite (required because 3 people) - the (American) CSR couldn't get past that I had 3 people, but wanted a king bed and kept turning down her suggestion of a cot for the room. So finally, I was like "Look. I have a 'Vicky-Cristina-Barcelona' thing going on. One king bed. No cot." When I showed up at the hotel, the Europeans understood right away. Very amusing.
Similarly, I was checking in to a hotel on the Côte d'Azur – the school teacher speaks fluent French – so I’m being checked-in – it was in a separate, seating area with the GM handling it – and the two girls excused themselves to the Ladies. The GM looked after them as they left, turned back to me, said, “I offer you my congratulations” and then went right back to business without missing a beat.
Final Points
-Bi-girls can be fun, but they are typically flaky.
-You will get push back from “normies”. Fuck that shit, live how you want.
-If you engage in longer-term relationships, be ready to manage both women, as well as handle any outside interference and bullshit.
-Threesome ‘relationships’ tend to be transient in nature – of course so do most of your friendships and romantic relationships – so relax and enjoy them in the moment.
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2018.09.19 19:06 kitsune-gari I went on a coffee date yesterday and managed to turn it into a makeout

Um, so I went on a coffee date with a heckn cutie yesterday who was tall (like 5'10" oh my) and dorky and so so cute and nice oh my wow yes, and I asked her if I could have a kiss CUZ I REALLY WANTED A KISS, OK?? and she was like UM YES PLS so we made out in her car and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I am really stoked about it...

...and also for everyone that is following the ongoing saga of my ex, like I haven't seen or texted her in a few days and I think I'm gonna be able to cold turkey ESPECIALLY if there are lanky cuties hitting me up that wanna smooch me in their cars because WOW smooching cuties in cars is a lot more fun than being sad about a girl who left me for a boy and only wants me around because she wants attention because I deserve smooches and cuddles and nice times because I am nice and cuddly and cute and people like me, dammit.

AAAAAAANYWAYS, thank you lesbos, for being present in my life and reading the nonsense I post here. For real, I appreciate it and I always read and re-read your responses and I actually do take you seriously and listen to you most of the time when you give me advice.
Oh, also I took her and her cute dog to my favorite place in the entire world which is a wading fountain with statues in it in audubon park and I took off my clothes and sat in it in my underwear and she was like !!!!!!! about it (IDGAF about being decent in public) and there were oak trees and spanish moss and we talked for a long time and it was heckin magical and oh wow what a nice date I haven't had such a nice date maybe ever <3 <3 <3
I asked her on a second date, and she hasn't responded but she did text me 6x in a row this morning in addition to sending me puppy gifs. I need to pin her lanky ass to the bed and make her scream or I'll die.


CHEERS, GAYS!
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2018.07.25 03:19 Break-The-Walls Sexual Immorality In The Spiritual Paradise Part I

Remember all of this the next time a Jehovah's Witness tells you about how corrupt and immoral the Church is.
I'm not going to copy and paste usernames, just now they are not my experiences.
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I remember in one hall in our district, there was this one brother who came back from Bethel. He was the poster child. A super duper uber jw. He got married, then got DFed, and divorced within a couple of months. Everyone was like wtf happened? What did he do? He was so good! How could this happen?
Turns out his wife found his porn magazine stash and turned him into the elders. Back then, porn was a big no no and resulted in a DF on the spot if I remember correctly. But I think nowadays, it's a pretty mild offense in the sense that you get a silent slap on the wrist and told not to watch it anymore or maybe a public reproof or if you're watching the real nasty stuff, a DF.
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We have a LONG-time pioneer woman in her 50s with a TOTAL dork of a husband who was an elder. THey'd been married for decades. They also have a daughter who is ALSO a pioneer and who ended up learning spanish and married a mexican ministerial servant.
Well, i think the mom got tired of her dorky husband and ended up shacking up with HER DAUGHTERS HUSBAND. She cheated on her husband with the son-in-law! It rocked our congregation pretty hardcore as they were people that were pillars in the congregation and had a LOT of family that attended. Needless to say she ruined her relationship with her daughter. Her husband took her back though. The daughter divorced her husband.
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36 years in, I saw or heard a bunch of these. The one that actually impacted me was the fact that one of the elders on my JC had been kicked out of bethel and reproved for cheating on his RP wife while they were in NY doing temp work. Five years later he's an elder again and telling me I "wasn't repentant enough." Let's just say, that I spoke my peace before standing up and revoking my request for reinstatement. Oh, and I doubt he will ever suggest repentance is on a sliding scale OR that he can judge it again.
Another one that I was impacted by was the RP that was 20 that was assigned to study with me when I was 12. She moved to our KH to help along with a couple that had just returned from a missionary assignment in Belize. They had been married like 15 years but were only in their late 30's. Anyway, because it was a drive, the 3 of them carpooled to and from meetings and service pretty much every day. After about two years, the elder and the RP that had studied with me, mentored me in service and insisted I AP during school breaks, ran off together. Turns out they had been screwing since the first car ride that the wife had missed due to sickness and every single chance since. It was notorious. I think the couple might have even been in an issue of the awake due to the missionary work and the fact they were interracial. Anyway, the two got df'd, disappeared, got married and came back after five-six years. Last I heard, he's an elder again.
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Heard of one where a circuit overseer ran away with a local elder.
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Asshole pompous elder that told me to be a better wife. Told a teen in the congregation that if she didn't shut up about a nearby elder that had molested her he'd make sure her entire family would be df'd. Hounded anyone that didn't follow his "encouragement" Just an over all asshole jerk watchtower company man.
Sneered in talks about jws who struggled financially because obviously they didn't do enough to have jehovahs blessing. Lived off thousands he borrowed from banks and credit cards. 2000s got here and the end he was counting on to erase his massive debt didn't come so he went on a drunken binge, ripped his house apart with an axe and other tools. Beat the hell out of his wife. Killed himself and left all the debt for his family to worry about.
Papers just said suicide. All the dirty stuff was hushed up but a police person I knew from work filled me in on the details.
There were countless elders and pioneers of over the years where the man would screw a young sister, confess, dump old wife and family, get reinstated in 6 months or so and continue being a good jw.
The old wife dump scheme got so prevalent that they increased the time they had to stay df'd but it didn't slow it down much in our area.
The wife swapping scandal and key parties I know of were in the Pennsylvania and Ohio areas. A couple of relatives were df'd for that one. This went on for years. It was a bunch of well to do couples from several circuits would drive to a city none were from. Stay in hotels and drink and party. About 4 of 20 couples got caught. Guilty conscience confession is what busted the 4 or so couples.. the rest slid by without being caught.
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Star of the District, special pioneer, anointed, married, elder, commits adultery with RP in same congo.
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Oh yeah, and one of the Elders who was on my judicial committee that decided to disfellowship me ended up running away with another Brother's wife a few years later, turns out they were having an affair for quite some time.
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Special pioneer couple in my hall. Very nice guy, the wife was always a little quiet. They had a 16-year-old kid who would follow them around. Turns out the SPECIAL PIONEER wife was screwing the 16-year boy. She got df'd, reinstated, then remarried a new guy who looked just like the 16-year-old. The elders told the family not to report it to the police so that it didn't bring shame on Jehovah's name.
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A ministerial servant in our hall was accused by a young girl of molesting her. Nobody believed her, then another girl spoke up. But, you know, the "Two Witness Rule", so nothing happened to him and we were told to keep quiet. We spread it around anyway, and soon half the congregation believed the girls and half didn't, but it got too divisive and the Elders kicked him out (after 3 months). Then two or three more girls ended up saying he did it to them too, and a few years ago, a guy I grew up with (he was like a little brother to me) said he molested him, too.
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SF Bay Area.
Elder appointed in his early twenties (late 1970's)
Very early on appointed as Presiding Overseer in any congregation he was assigned to. Often called by fellow elders "Superboy"
Very well spoken. Worked for HP as a upper level manager all despite never going to college. Assembly overseer for both district and circuit assemblies. Always has numerous parts on district and circuit assemblies. Served on countless special judicial committees.(some may not know those existed)
Becomes fulltime pioneer along with his wife. Eventually leaves HP and becomes a circuit overseer in mid-west.
Leaves circuit overseer position and returns to Bay Area (exact reasons unknown to me) So good as an HP manager that they give him his job back.
Becomes PO of congregation soon after return. Wife continues to pioneer. Wife gets cancer and dies.
Then the wheels fall off. He ends up fucking a married Pioneer sister. Gets disfellowshipped.
Gets re-instated and ends up marrying the Adulterous Pioneer sister's daughter,also a pioneer. (the daughter is at least 30 yrs his junior)
This was/is a super pious elder who once chewed out a fellow pioneer in the car group for using the word "pissed" in an anecdotal story. He also never confessed to his first daughter that she was conceived out of wedlock when the parents were teenagers before learning the "truth" in order to protect their reputation as clean.
This guy was "squeaky clean" for decades!
I imagine that having the husband of the adulterous pioneer and father of his new pioneer wife come in to the hall during a talk, walk up to him and his new wife and yell, "FIRST YOU FUCK MY WIFE AND NOW YOU'RE FUCKING MY DAUGHTER!" put him in a in a different spotlight than what he was used to. If he wasn't there already. The father of the new bride proceeded to try and beat the shit out of him.
Ha ha!
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I know of two. The first one involved a MS who was 26 at the time, I was 14. He was always hitting on me, and at first, being a shy teenager, I was flattered, but eventually, he kept trying to get me alone and I started feeling weird about that since he was so much older. Guess I should have said something at the time but I failed in that aspect. Anyways, flash forward 5 years. That same MS, who was 31 now, started petioning another girl who was 15 at the time. He got busted sneaking in through her bedroom window one night by her single mother. The girl was DF'd whereas he was reproved privately thanks to having an elder daddy.
The other scandal I know of involved an elders wife who got in touch with her high school sweetheart after only 2 months of marriage to her elder husband. She ran off to Pennsylvania for about a month, came back, apologized to her husband, and only spent 6 months DF'd. The whole debaucle shocked the congregation because she was such a great pioneer and her new husband was loaded. No one thought she had a reason to leave.
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An elder falls for this one "spiritually weak" sister, totally dressed like a skank lol (gee, I wonder why the poor virgin elder set his eyes on her...). You could totally tell his family was against that relationship - also the fact that she wasn't officially divorced either was part of that. One of his sisters totally wasn't hiding her feelings about it.
So one Sunday, we were out in the parking lot as we were all getting into our cars to leave. I see the elder talking to his GF, she's inside her car, he's talking outside of the car. His sister passes the car on the passenger side and slapped the car with her hand in anger. The GF starts screaming from the inside of the car, gets out, runs to face the sister... Screaming fest right there in the middle of the KH parking lot... until they start slapping and hitting each other. I swear this was like a fight in high school!! Elder had to pull them both apart with he help of his BIL, while the rest of us just stared in shock, like WTF is happening?!
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Annointed brothers wife went full lesbo for a younger sister in the hall. Then she wouldnt fess up even though we all knew they did it all the time and he was stuck with her.
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When I was young, my family moved to N.M. for a couple of years and we met this sister and her little girl that was about 5 years old. This elder was always picking up the little girl and taking her outside during the meeting at night. After we moved and the years passed by I saw this on this news. It was that elder and the little girl
http://goo.gl/YAHj4E
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My dad was an elder and when I was 11, it was discovered he had been cheating on my mom for a year with someone from work. He was df'd, my mom stayed with him and to this day(15 years later) they're still together and my dad is an elder again. Sometimes I wish they would've divorced to save our family the public humiliation and hellish home life that came after.
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Mom of 3 with wealthy and successful unbelieving husband cheats on unbelieving husband with elder. Both couples divorce, both sinners are df'd. Unbelieving hubby is so astonished that he drinks the kool aid and becomes a dub too! He is fast tracked to elder, then marries a hot young rp only 2 years older than his oldest kid, who by this time is in high school and knocked up (not yet baptized at this point so no jc). Cheating mom gets reinstated, remarried an elder and they're all happy as clams in the same congo, men on the same elder body 20 years later...
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My congregation was a typical "family cong". Big families, powerful in the hall, elders and sons multiplied by 10 type congregation.
Anyways, a married elder (lets call him Bro. D) in my hall decided to have an affair with another elders wife (Sis. Slut)... for 4 years... Once the elders in the hall decided to call him out (coincidentally a month after Bro. D's father, who happened to be the Cong Overseer, died) he and Sis. Slut got publicly reproofed. Then 4 months later, Bro. D and Sis. Slut got married (in another hall) and the elders said that they couldn't fault them for getting married because it had been done in Jehovah's house.
Keep in mind, in the whole process of the public reproof, Sis. Slut had moved in with Bro. D and no one said anything about it. No divorce finalized by either of the spouses and no action by the elders.
Fucked up the kids of those two families pretty badly. To the point where one of them appeared in a Hedly-(sucks) music video (oh my gahd nooo apahstate music)
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Had a Pioneer who decided to work at a local strip club.
She's hot, but she's also crazy. I'm perfectly fine never running into her again.
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Biggest scandal in my hall was my dad (the PO) being outed as a kiddie diddler. Pretty much destroyed the elder body, some moved away, some moved halls. Only the shittiest ones, his circle of friends, stayed behind to make my family's lives hell.
Second was an elder losing his shit during the Ministry School. Screamed at the audience, kicked his Bible off the stage, stormed out of the hall shouting obscenities. He was always a shifty eyed bastard, I suspected him of being a creep. He used to make the oddest comments about little girls shoes and feet. Crazy Eyes, we used to call him.
There were numerous porn scandals, but they were all pretty pedestrian.
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In the hall I grew up in, a mother was having sex with her son in law over a period of several years. The husband caught them in bed together. He went to the elders but because his wife and son in law denied it, the two witness rule came into play and the elders wouldn't free him scriptural from divorcing her. Also, everyone in the hall started picking sides and it became so bad, that all the elders in the hall were replaced with elders from bethel and other local brothers.
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A friend of mine, who was a MS, was getting married and two weeks before his marriage he caught the CO having sex with his fiancé.
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Local elder convicted of murdering his wife and another elder was convicted of molesting young JW girls Both were prosecuted by the same Lawyer who has written a book about many of his cases and writes about both of them. http://www.amazon.com/The-Humanity-Justice-Burke-Strunsky-ebook/dp/B00J46TNZO
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Elder's golden-boy son, fucked his MIL less than a month after his wife had their baby😐
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Not at my hall, but a few years ago in a neighboring hall, 3 different elders did a wife swap thing resulting in them all getting disfellowshipped - all 6 of them. One elder committed suicide a week after.
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Elder tried to kill my father. But my father deserved it, because he was fucking the elder's wife. Whole cong melted down. Those were some insane years.
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Newlywed couple has issues in the first year (no big surprise). An elder gives them marital counseling for a few months all the while focusing on the newlywed hot 18 year old girl that must have had issues of some sort.
He abruptly leaves his wife in the middle of the night, as well as his adult children (who ran his entire business); abandons his rather large and prospering business, his home, livelihood, and surprised everyone with moving a few states over with said 18 year old.
He wasn't df'd for any of that, in case you are wondering.
Must have been true love. /s
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In our last congregation - one of the elders wives ran off, but not with a brother, she went off with another sister and as far as I know both of them are still together as a lesbian couple. The sister must have had a crappy marriage to an overly domineering man IMHO - and as this elders kids are pioneers etc he had to step down. Makes one wonder what goes on behind closed doors in some of these houses.
Another one was a CO who I always had my doubts about. I observed him perving at sisters a few times & wondered just what sort of guy he really was. Then I heard that he had been DFd for leaving his wife and taking off with a pioneer sister!
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I knew a JW who is still a JW as far as I know who got his foot shot off in gang activity. Another time, him, my friend, and I were talking about girls. He then goes on about how great sucking on boobs was. He quickly began to backtrack once he realized who he was talking to.
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I know of a married elder that was sleeping with another married woman in the congrigation.
He served on the JC for that womans husband and DF'd him!!!
And then he continued to 'comfort' that woman through her divorce.
Eventually she got pissed off at him because he wouldn't leave his wife and she confessed and exposed him.
It's funny because I remember someone telling me this and saying "see! Jehovah exposes everyone eventually, he doesn't allow sinners to stay in his congrigation"
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My pioneeeldeService Overseer (had a young daughter at the time) was beating his pioneer wife/mother of his child, and boning his wife's best friend, who also was a pioneer.
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There was a rumour a while ago about female pioneers in Denmark that were caught making a living on making porn...
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PO while married while living at Grantville Assembley hall fucking a new single mom in the hall. Whos husband had just died from Brain cancer who then leaves his wife for her when she annouces she has breast cancer.
Oh and this cunt was trying to DF me for making jokes Online
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An elder at my old hall acted all superior and holier than thou at the meetings.... He got arrested a year ago for having an affair with a 15 year old girl. Everyone keeps saying "Oh, it might not be true." The mother of the girl is the one that forced her daughter to go to the police. A 30 year old women also came forward. She said they had a similar "relationship" when she was 15... I feel so bad for his wife. For as indoctrinated as she is (she is a pioneer) she was always sweet.
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Elders kids got drunk and smoked weed nearly every weekend and parents dragged them out in field service the next day with hangovers and a few of them puked on doorsteps or sidewalks.
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Wife swapping in some congregations in England (Not a rumor). CO told me that he avoids asking how are the sister's spouses during his visit because the sister's husband will be another's. During the 6 months he's gone, the people involved were judicially heard (slapped on the wrist) then came back to the congregation as active and exemplary Jdubs. Ready for another round of wife swapping I supposed.
This goes to show that Elders can go around and see a loophole in the Watchtower's rules to protect their friends.
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A pioneeelder in my hall who was married and had three kids. The dude would look to get people in trouble and caused it all the time. Little did we all know that he was banging another pioneer brother's teenage daughter while keeping up his uberdub charades. (He even spoke in the Holy Monotone voice.)
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Two married pioneer couples that were good friends. They ended up swapping partners and getting remarried. They stayed friends after and still hung out
This guy who dated my sister in law was always a piece of shit. Even by normal people’s standards. Getting drunk all the time at 18 years Old. Going to high school parties and doing drugs. Sex with a former girlfriend. The works. He married my sister in law and they both got disfellowshipped. While they were married he started dealing drugs and abusing her. Any time something happened he would put on the angel act for his parents and they would buy it. They get divorced and 3 months after they found out he was sleeping with another girl he gets reinstated.
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A MS Husband in our congregation spent our entire childhood beating his wife. Everyone thought it was funny that she wore sooooo much makeup until we realized that it was to cover the bruises. Sad.
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Had a friend who used to go out and get drunk with. He was bapped, I wasn't at the time. His dad was an elder and this friend had lots of responsibilities at his hall.
We would often head out, drink like fish, I would drink drive his car back to his parent's bungalow, let myself in quietly and go to bed. Around 4am he would get a cab back from whichever girl's house he's been fucking, tip toe around the building, tap on his bedroom window and I would help him climb in.
We both fall asleep, then it was time to get up at 9am and get ready for the Sunday meeting.
It was always funniest when he had to read the Watchtower with a banging hangover.
We've lost contact since, but are both df'd
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My own brother. I was fading, he was out going to blowjob parties when parents were away. About 20 teenagers would get together, including elders' kids. My dad thought it was strange they were always hanging out, and saw them getting BJs thru a window. Not one of them got reproved publicly or DF'd.
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Guy gets baptized at convention, that night to celebrate goes down to Tijuana and gets himself a prostitute.
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My ex friend/roommate. He was DFd at the time but trying to get back in(for the 2nd or 3rd time) and I was fading. He was a full on alcoholic and would often beat his dog when he was drunk. He smoked, did cocaine and often used that to get girls to "party". He fucked a lot of chicks. He was a salesperson so he lied constantly to get sales. When we finally parted ways he extorted money out of me. Months later he got arrested for getting drunk and assault with a deadly weapon.
I find out later he did all this and STILL got reinstated.
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I've known of wife swapping and caught a married elders son in a strip club. I found out years after I left, from other souces that left, that there was plenty of sex going on within our congregation including the the solicitation of prostitutes. F- - - - - - g Hippocrates.
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2018.03.12 09:35 standardnerdette I am the other girl [Tough Love]

Have you ever had your girlfriend leave you for someone else with the intention of making you jealous? If it was in Brisbane Australia, that girl was probably me. In the past six years I've dated five girls, all of whom dated me purely to make their ex jealous.
To make matters worse, I knew exactly what was happening every time; I just let it continue because I'm a desperate loser and my entire sex life depends on you pissing off your girlfriend to the point she wants an easily manipulatable lesbo such as myself to make her come a few times while you realise how amazing she is.
Anyhow; my confession is directly related to one of these girls, who I accidentally fell in love with. I had suspicions about her feelings for her ex when she brought him up in every conversation, but after a month that stopped and I thought we could maybe be happy together. Anywho, it didn't work out and she drunk dialled me on her birthday but I didn't want to answer, changed my mind and called her back. Her sister picked up the phone and told me to never contact her again. #sorryiguess
Since this keeps happening I've kind of become completely detached to forming relationships and have tried to avoid dating girls still into their ex, but being a lesbian that's actually impossible; and now I just feel like this is the closest I will ever get to being in a relationship.
I have no lesbian friends (I can't imagine why!) so I've come here for advice instead. Should I just off myself in hope of never destroying someone else's relationship or god forbid dream of having a real one for myself, or are there things I can do to get out of this shit?
[Conflicted]: I don't really feel that bad; it's not like I ever signed up for this role. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, while I have your fucked up crazy girlfriends thrust upon me with little to no notice and it's not great in the slightest.
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2016.12.25 11:42 MetasequoiaLeaf Update 9: My first-time-viewer girlfriend has seen The Body. And, er, the rest of season 5. We couldn't help ourselves.

Prior posts: Buffy 1, Buffy 2, Buffy 3, Buffy 4, Angel 1, Buffy 5, Buffy 6, Angel 2, Buffy 7, Angel 3, Buffy 8, Angel 4, Buffy 9, Angel 5. Latest Angel.
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After we saw Into the Woods, my girlfriend had this to say:
"I'm conflicted. I don't like Riley, so I'm happy. But Buffy is sad, so I'm sad."
Pretty sure that's the majority opinion at this point in the series.
She's getting more and more on Spike's side, as you'll see going forward.
~~
She was surprised that the triangle in Triangle was Anya-Xander-Willow. She didn't see why Anya had any reason to be jealous of Willow, especially wondering, "Why now?" I pointed out that Anya came into the series because Xander cheated on Cordelia with Willow, and to a thousand-plus-year-old ex-demon that would feel very recent; and, more to the point, Xander and Willow are and have been close friends for most of their lives, and they had a connection that Anya couldn't match. Anya and Xander have their own, different connection, but he and Willow will always be close. She nodded sagely at that.
She also keeps telling Spike to "ganbare!", a Japanese word that's difficult to translate exactly but basically means "try!" or "do your best!" She wants him to become good through his love for Buffy. Him pointedly not drinking from Olaf's victims was more endearing to her than it was to Buffy I guess.
~~
She liked Checkpoint, though perhaps not as much as I do. She liked seeing Buffy be cool with her closing speech about power (which I adore), and liked seeing her put her trust in Spike towards the end.
She was also amused at the brief use of Japanese in the episode.
~~
I know a lot of people, admittedly including myself at first, aren't the biggest fans of Dawn initially. My girlfriend, on the other hand, has been sympathetic to her from the get-go see my previous post), and Blood Ties further reaffirmed that affection.
I think it's a testament to the quality of this show's writing that there are such a wide variety of opinions about each character. For basically every character, you'll find people who love them, people who hate them, people who couldn't care less about them, people who like them in some seasons but not others... they feel like real, fully-fleshed out people, with strengths and weaknesses, flaws and foibles, and that's what makes them such compelling characters.
That's a big part of why I love watching this show with my girlfriend so much. It's so fascinating to see where her opinions are going to differ from mine. I loved Tara from the moment she appeared on screen, but my girlfriend really missed Oz and took a while to warm to her. I was never that interested in Angel as a character until he got a bit more fleshed-out on his own show; meanwhile, my girlfriend's obsession with Angel has been well documented. She's highly opinionated and she's not afraid to voice those opinions, and I love her for it.
Also, she wasn't really all that shocked when Ben turned into Glory. She already knew Ben was "warui", so I guess the fact that he is Glory wasn't particularly surprising to her. (I briefly considered pretending not to remember Ben is Glory, for the joke, but like with the Dawn thing, I didn't want to lie to her, especially since she still sometimes asks me to explain certain things to her.)
~~
My girlfriend has been saying for a while now that she wanted to see Drusilla again, so when she showed up again in Angel, my girlfriend was initially very glad to see her. However, her actions over on that series...well, check out the Angel reactions post for that. At any rate, she was significantly less eager to see Dru back this time round, especially since she's so heavily rooting for Spike to be good. Dru's influence on Spike was met with many "Yabai!"s (roughly, "Dangerous!" or "Not good!").
~~
Before we watched I Was Made to Love You, I informed my girlfriend that we would be deviating from our standard Buffy-Angel-Buffy-Angel watch order to watch two Buffy episodes in a row, and then two Angel episodes in a row. I also informed her that if we watched this next one, we had to watch both. Not surprisingly, this concerned her greatly. But, I felt it was necessary to make sure we watched The Body straight away.
Throughout the ep, my girlfriend had a lot of sympathy for April. She tends to go for the pathos characters.
As much as she's rooting for Spike at the moment, she still really appreciated Giles' "We are not your way to Buffy" moment. She commented that he's a good father-figure for Buffy, straight-up calling him her "otōsan" (father).
I needn't've worried about continuing to the next episode before. After the final scene where Buffy finds Joyce on the couch, she demanded, "Next!" I obliged.
~~
My girlfriend handled watching The Body with incredible grace. It is not an easy episode to watch. I've seen it easily half a dozen times, and I still got misty-eyed. She didn't cry, not once. But she also didn't get faux-mad at me for showing her a sad story. She acknowledged the episode as not just sad, not just moving, not just good dramatic storytelling, but also important.
We talked about how the episode portrayed each character's different ways of expressing grief, and what each response says about said character. (Xander is angry, Willow is anxious, Tara is empathetic, Anya is confused, Giles is all business and trying to be productive, Dawn is devastated and in denial, and Buffy is mostly...numb.)
We had already discussed, when we watched Hush, how this show helped convince American audiences and critics that television can tell compelling stories, and how the current era of TV being not terrible was ushered in, in part, by this series. The Body does a great deal to reaffirm that.
I also pointed out that Willow and Tara shared their first on-screen kiss this episode.
~~
She had a lot less to say about Forever. She liked seeing Spike helping Dawn, and continued to feel for Buffy's sister.
But mainly she was just glad to see Angel and Buffy back together, however briefly.
It was also around this point that she mentioned how glad she was that we were watching Buffy and Angel together (hint, hint), saying she liked the contrast, how Buffy could have a sad story and go through this terrible loss, while Angel gets a more uplifting story about reuniting with his team, and vice versa, and so on. She also indicated that she liked the added weight knowledge of both series gave the crossover events like this one, and I couldn't agree more.
~~
She was very entertained while watching Intervention. She didn't care that Spike built a sexbot in Buffy's likeness, she was just happy to see him refuse to tell Glory about Dawn being the Key, and appreciated Buffy's respect for that. Plus the Buffybot was funny.
She maintains that Angel is the best, but it looks like Spike will do.
On to the final arc!
~~
Before we watched Tough Love, I again informed my girlfriend that we would not be watching the next Angel episode after this, but would instead be watching Buffy-Buffy-Buffy-Buffy, then Angel-Angel-Angel-Angel. To my girlfriend, this was again cause for considerable alarm. Multi-parters mean drama, and in Buffy, as she knows, drama means sadness.
As an aside, we've been following a watch-order of my own design. It sticks to production/air date order, except in the case of multi-parters, with special consideration given to crossover events. (All the ones I've seen switch Fool for Love and Darla, among other confusing choices, so I made one of my own.) I can see the argument if someone thinks the Buffy "protect Dawn from Glory" 4 episode arc and the Angel "Pylea" 4 episode arc should be watched in air date order, so you go straight from Buffy's death in The Gift to Angel's discovery of it, but I prefer to keep the final arcs of each connected, instead of breaking each up with the other. That way you're watching two complete, coherent stories, one after the other, rather than, "Here's Buffy fleeing from Glory! But meanwhile, back on the demon-dimension-ranch..." I think it's better to get Buffy's complete story, and then, "Here's what Angel and company were doing while all that was going on." I honestly also think that the impact of seeing Angel learn about Buffy's passing can be given more weight by a bit of distance, so you've almost forgotten what happened to the Slayer what with all the crazy, wacky demon dimension stuff, and then all at once you're forced to confront it, just like Angel is.
Anyway, the episode. My girlfriend found Willow and Tara's fight a little hard to follow. Phrases like "lesbo street cred" aren't exactly things she's encountered before, living her whole life in Japan. So, as usual, I walked her through what she'd missed. I explained Willow's frustration with her inability to properly emphasize, and Tara's struggle with Willow's continually growing power, and finally, Tara's concern that Willow's romantic affections for her were less than permanent.
Another aside: I know a lot of modern audiences are put off by what they see as bi-erasure. Willow was straight, until she met Tara, and she suddenly and completely wasn't, and never does anyone so much as breathe the word "bisexual." That never bothered me, however, for two reasons. First, the show is a product of its time, so even having a lesbian character in the main cast is impressive, even without getting into some of the nuances of the spectrum of sexuality. Second, I think the show is actually doing something a bit more subtle than people tend to give it credit for.
All the evidence in the show seems to indicate that Willow is in fact bisexual. Her attraction to Giles, her muted but ever-present affection for Xander, her feelings for Oz...Willow is clearly still attracted to men. But I think there's a very good reason why she nonetheless identifies as a lesbian exclusively. A lot of bisexual people, bisexual women in particular, face a stigma in the gay community. People assume they're "experimenting," or "doing it for attention," and that they'll go back to dating men once they've "had their fun." It's messed up, but it's what a lot of people think, and it leads a lot of bisexual folks in relationships to identify exclusively as one or the other. In this little spat, Tara expresses exactly that concern, putting Willow in an uncomfortable position. (Sidebar to the sidebar: to those people, whom I know exist, who think Tara is "too perfect," I point to this, and her many other sometimes crippling insecurities.) Of course Willow's not going to admit to still being attracted to dudes. And even then, in this scene, she doesn't actually claim that she isn't. She just tries to reassure Tara that she does in fact love her. And yes, I explained all this to my girlfriend.
All right, enough of my asides. Back to her reactions.
My girlfriend has been predicting that Willow would grow stronger and become a powerful witch for quite some time, and in a lot of ways, this attack on Glory is the beginning of the culmination of that, before we begin to explore the consequences of that climb in power (with, erm, mixed effectiveness) next season.
We also talked about how this episode is all about the different challenges of loving someone. Buffy's struggle to protect Dawn, Willow and Tara's first fight, Willow's devastation over Tara's brain being drained, Spike's injuries from refusing to give up the Key's identity to Glory...love can be hard. Luckily our relationship is perfect and we never have any problems.
And then Glory rips the wall off, and learns that Dawn is the Key, and my girlfriend understands why we're watching the next episode without stopping to check in on the happenings in LA.
~~
We both had a lot less to say about Spiral. It's a lot of action and fleeing and drama.
I don't think she ever was convinced Giles was going to die.
The ending really demands that one continue on to the next episode, and so did my girlfriend. So we did.
~~
The Weight of the World, too, I see as more of a vehicle to get all the pieces into place for the next episode than that much of a story in its own right. I tried to get a discussion going about what she thought the right thing to do was; would it be right to kill Dawn to protect the world? To kill Ben? But she again just wanted to proceed to the next episode. She was eager to see the conclusion. Can't really blame her.
~~
The Gift is fantastic. It is the perfect culmination of and conclusion to this season. Every episode from season 5 comes back in some way. Every character gets a chance to shine.
When Xander proposed to Anya, she gave her strongest, "Why now?!" yet. That made me laugh.
In the moment while Giles was suffocating Ben, she called out, "Yabai!" But afterwards, she acknowledged the necessity of it, how Giles was protecting Buffy and her heroic identity by doing the thing that she could not. She called him, once again, a good father, and declared, "He is so...adult!"
My girlfriend was initially upset that the season had a "sad ending," but I told her I don't think Buffy's death is a sad moment. Buffy is a hero, through and through, and her sacrifice is the ultimate realization of that heroism. She came around...to a degree.
She said she felt the worst for Spike, whom we see crying over Buffy's death at the end. Spike had come so far, and, to my girlfriend, proved himself capable of good, and of heroism, but he couldn't save Dawn or Buffy in the end.
She had of course seen all my DVDs already, and we had discussed the future seasons in vague, non-spoilery terms, so of course she knew that the show was coming back, and predicted that Buffy would be resurrected by a spell, or a demon, or something. "I know this show by now," she informed me. She also mentioned that if she had been watching the show as it aired, she would have written in to demand that they continue the story.
Now, I informed her, it was time to find out what Angel had been doing this whole time. Again, see here for that. (Am I pushing that hard enough?)
~~
~
~~
Since she was so upset with Buffy's death, we proceeded into Angel season 3/Buffy season 6 pretty much immediately.
Bargaining (parts 1 and 2) was definitely not the return she was expecting. She had predicted, as I mentioned above, that Buffy would be brought back by a spell or something, though I think she, like perhaps most viewers on their first watch-through, hadn't anticipated the consequences of that.
She was sad to see Giles leave. She picked up instantly on the changed opening credits, so she understands that we're going to be seeing less of him this season. She misses his little finger-raise from Hush; we had taken to doing it with him as the credits played. It's such a good encapsulation of his role in the Scoobies and his character, how could you not love it?
She was thrilled to see Spike continuing to protect Dawn, even without Buffy in the picture.
~~
She also appreciated seeing Spike and Buffy reunited in After Life.
She was a bit jokingly upset when the word "thaumogenesis" came up, because good god, she's not a native English speaker, and that is not an easy word! I reassured her that she didn't have to worry about a word like that; not even native speakers should be expected to know what the heck "thaumogenesis" is supposed to mean.
She also had a little trouble understanding Buffy and Spike's conversation at the end of the episode.
"What can they never know?" she inquired. "Is she...not Buffy?"
I explained that, no, that's definitely Buffy, but she wasn't rescued from hell, like her friends believe she was; she was dragged out of heaven. Kinda worse, when you think about it.
~~~~
And that's where we are at the moment! I'll post another update soon, I imagine, as we proceed through the rest of season 6. It should be fun; she has no idea OMWF is coming up, for one thing. That's gonna be good.
submitted by MetasequoiaLeaf to buffy [link] [comments]


2016.12.23 00:41 NevermoreShore Why don't girls approach? 18 [M4A]

(get ready. its a lot.) So I'm 18, and growing up I was always considered very awkward and weird looking. as a result, I often found myself in embarrassing situations that branded me as weird and attracted a few bullies that i was too scared to confront. obviously girls gave less than 2 shits about me romantically, and I would literally just date girls online, hundreds of miles away with full knowledge that I would never meet them, and the relationship would just fizzle out at some point. I even catfished a girl for 2 and a half years when I was 12, pretending to be someone else entirely, of different race, name, everything. when she found out, she obviously hated me and told me to delete her number right then and there. i still liked her but a year later i found out she went full lesbo (greaaat news to hear) and so i kept my distance. anyway, this all led to very severe depression, dozens of thoughts of suicide, and one attempt. after 3 years, i almost got locked in a mental institution because you could literally HEAR the severity of my depression in my voice. this scared me enough to get more of a grip on my emotions, but recently I've discovered that i still can't fully control them.
when i turned 17, i guess puberty finally got tired of me hating everything, and made me semi-attractive. i'd get looks from girls out of my league, and it made me feel somewhat happy.. until i turned 18 earlier this year. see, i started working out more to increase my attractiveness, and it worked. i get looks from literally about 80% of girls within my vicinity, but i had yet to realize something- GIRLS WILL NEVER APPROACH YOU NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK. i don't know if this is some weird biological shit ingrained in their DNA or if girls are just all secretly shy, but this has made talking to girls (i almost don't at all anymore) a living hell for me. since i went through all that bs at a younger age, my self esteem is still pretty low, so i myself can barely even approach girls at all, and the very rare times i do, it usually falls apart and i look like a loser, which makes me feel like shit. if i somehow manage to get a number, the text convo dies after like an hour and i never text again because i get short replies, so i delete the number. this obviously also makes me feel like shit.
my days consist of going to school, walking though the halls, sitting in class, exchanging like fucking 57 moments of awkward eye contact, getting pissed because nothing happens, and going home with literally no one to talk to. I've only had 2 gf's and the first one broke up with me after 2 weeks to get back with her ex, while the second one cheated on me and flirted with other guys in front of me, so yeah, getting laid is like a mythical tale to me at the moment. I've been feeling like i wasted my time getting in shape, but i don't want to revert back to my old self again.
What the actual fuck should i do?
submitted by NevermoreShore to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2016.02.11 04:02 TotalWarfare Why the Next Episode will Break the Fandom.

Now before I begin, I neither condone nor condemn the Bumblebee ship.
Now, the last and final preview of RWBY has a whole group of the subreddit in quite a buzz. Yes, Blake holds Yang's hand while they're both on the ground. and since then, I have seen (and heard) quite a commotion from the shippers of Bumblebee that it is now canon. However, I can not support such an idea this early in the life of RWBY. It is far too soon for a canon ship, and far too much teasing from Miles and Kerry to let this go without backlash. Quite simply, no matter what happens this next episode with Blake and Yang, it will lead to the community being in a negative feeling over RWBY. I shall now explain.
Miles and Kerry are masters of teasing us. So much so, that if the fandom was a woman, our panties would be on the ground and our ass would be in the air already. Yes, vulgar, yes... possible crude. But it gets the fucking point across. As such, they have been teasing us on a potential FxF ship since the dawn of the show. How so? Monty or someone else did explain there was a potential LGBT characters(s). There's a link to find for this, if someone can find that for me. Then we have the dance scene with Blake and Yang. Literally causes most of the sub back then to go insane for that. Hell, Barbara and Arryn ship it, which again... made the fandom squee with glee over such action. Basically, this past episode and this tease has sent a clear message to the shippers of this community that Bumblebee will be or is now canon. Now, why is this so bad? Why does it sound like I have a hatred for the Buzz? Well, besides it being GOD DAMN ANNOYING TO HEAR "not the bees!" or other bee related things in discord, to ship characters at this point is poor writing and really... it will end badly.
What Miles and Kerry have done has been push the idea of Bumblebee, the teasing, the scenes, the small hints, to the point that if they do not deliver, the sub will basically maul their asses. However, if they give in and let the ship be canon now, it will be rushed and poorly done. Here is the problem. By messing with our emotions to the point that now the very movement of a hand by Blake is enough to send some users into a THIRTY GODDAMN MINUTE spree of emotional euphoria, they have forced themselves into a corner. To make it canon, will have rushed a relationship that I believe should take multiple seasons to bring out and get to a point to have the girls date and love. To not make it canon will lead to the fans here asking for Miles and Kerry's heads due to the teasing. Now, I will explain why the scenes and teases we have gotten are actually not teases of romance, in order to prove that this relationship is still growing.
To start from the most recent:
  1. Blake touching Yang's hand can be seen as a gesture of caring for a teammate. It does not have to be romantic. What has been done is the shipper community has placed a romantic connection on this. Blake could simply be going "I'm sorry..." to her.
  2. Yang's fight against Blake's ex creep. Let's be honest, ANYONE would do what Yang did. The reason the writers have Yang do it is because one: she is readily available and two: the connotations of having Yang and Blake together. Again: fueling the the fans.
  3. Now, when Adam says he'll destroy everything she loves, this can be commonly referred to as romantic love. But let's be honest, women say they love their friends. It does not mean there is some lesbo thing going on... unless my best friend has been lying to me. As such, the key words here is again to stir the BB shippers.
  4. The dance scene with Yang and Blake is another example of women being with their friends. Unless you've never been to a high school dance, you know that girls will dance with each other, usually to AVOID BOYS. This, and again, women are weird at the late teens and havin this weird friendship with other girls that some may think is lesbian in nature. WHEN IT'S NOT.
  5. This ENTIRE GOD DAMN SCENE. Now, yes, this scene has strong emotions and potential for the rise of the ship, but lets pick it apparent. Yang's good friend, most likely BEST friend, is just about to collapse from exhaustion. Yang goes to get her back to her senses. Now, this is a normal friend thing to do, to help a friend in trouble. I do it quite often. Nothing romantic here. Now, the offer a dance could be an incentive to get Blake to go. A dance with your friend is a good way to ease the tension in a dance as it could calm nerves for Blake. Again, no need for romance. Last but not least with this scene.... the hug. UNLESS YOU'RE AN UNEMOTIONAL PRICK WHO DOESN'T HUG, this is normal. Again, nothing romantic if you think about it. PHysical contact with Blake is abnormal, due to Blake's.... cat like nature if you will. To make a hug snaps the girl out of her lull, which it does. I have seen it done, hell... I've had it done. (so many god damn hugs by friends -.-') It just occurs.
Now, you may be asking why I have decided to target Bumblebee over say... Arkos. That's because Arkos shippers are not raving mad and it has been taking a slow progress. Bumblebee should be taking the same path but it hasn't. It has rather taken the path in the eyes of the community of a Roleplay ship. It's moving too fast to be truly romantic. I have seen slow romances build up, and it's much more rewarding for the shippers if they do take a slow course. My example is FMA. I won't explain further because it's a show you all should watch. (This is coming from an anti-weeb).
In conclusion, I make a plea to all you shippers out there. Before you go and act rash and GO INSANE over the potential of your ship becoming canon, think for a moment. Is this really what will happen, or am I being played by the authors to get a reaction to watch the show. Most likely than not these days, it's the latter. So, please... think. Also, Miles and Kerry have lined themselves up to set up a potentially nasty end game. No matter what happens, it will piss people off.
I will be happy to argue any points that feel like I have glossed over. Again, I do not condemn nor condone the ship, but I do condemn the rash behavior some fans have had in the last couple weeks. It's immature, obnoxious, and makes the rest of the community look like raving lunatics who wants animated characters to fuck.
-TotalWarfare
TLDR: for Saturday to BB shippers...
submitted by TotalWarfare to RWBY [link] [comments]


2014.11.18 06:54 throwaway2552552 [Update] I'm in love with my bestfriend

Previous post: http://www.reddit.com/actuallesbians/comments/2l4lzx/and_so_it_begins/
Hi, it's me again. I'd like to preface this by saying thank you. You all gave me some really solid advice last time, and as someone who is closeted and has nobody to talk to about this issue, I really appreciate it. I know in the grand scheme of things this issue is minuet, but it's a really big deal to me. Having such a lovely community to turn to when you have no one else is a bigger help than you could ever imagine. Thank you all so much, I hope one day to pay what you've given me forward.
This, like the previous post, will probably be a bit lengthy; please bear with me.
Aforementioned, I'm pretty much head over heels for my darling bestfriend and there's not really much I can do about it at this moment. These feelings, they just won't go away. We spend a lot of time together and we've been bestfriends for what will soon be 11 years, this December. Neither of us have ultimately defined our sexuality, as it hasn't really been a concern. I had a semi-serious relationship with a guy that didn't workout, because well, I finally allowed myself to recognize and accept our relationship wasn't working and will never work because I'm gay. My bestfriend has never had a relationship. She hated my ex. Whatever. Post break-up I had a party and we got pretty tipsy (especially her) and we almost kissed, but got busted. We haven't spoken about that night since.
Onward we go. I went home this past weekend after about a month of not visiting; although I've been in contact with my bestfriend the whole time. This is obviously nothing new. During my visit, I spent some quality time with my grandmother because I hadn't seen her in several months (she lives in a different area than my hometown, we don't see each other very much) which is where I followed some advice from the previous thread. My grandmother, who has one out-and-proud lesbian granddaughter, is virtually an open-minded being. I sort of opened up to her about some things, nothing to major, but we talked in confidence. When she asked me if I had any interest in dating again anytime soon, I told her no. She asked me if it was because of my ex or if I had a thing for someone else. To which, I responded "it's complicated". Then she said it. "Whoever he or she is, they'd be lucky to have you." I know this doesn't seem like much, but it is to me. It caught me off guard, but I was glad she threw that in there for some reason. It was just a relief to hear that one, little, almost obsolete, word. So, I asked her about my cousin (a.k.a other gay granddaughter) and her relationship, and she told me things were well for her, and that she's happy my cousin feels free to be who she is and that she loves her regardless. I changed the subject, but I'm glad I had that small conversation. My parents are still adamant in their beliefs and do not show any signs of changing any time soon, but I'll face that bridge when I get there. One step at a time, I guess.
Now, to my bestfriend. Things between us are different. They aren't bad, they're actually great; just different. Of course, she came over to my house while I was in for the weekend. I had a couple of other people over as well, some mutual friends of ours. A few beers later and we're at an eerily familiar scenario. It's us two on my couch, away from everyone else. We're cuddled up close - this isn't really a big deal, we've always done this. I start to feel a little uncomfortable and move to the other end of the couch to avoid making her uncomfortable as well. Nope, she moves right back into me. So, I let her. And here we, are together in a situation that is probably really fucked up, but couldn't feel better to me. It just feels right. I couldn't resist - so, I decided that if it's okay for she and I to be this close, it's okay to put my arm around her waist and sort of pull her into a spooning position? IDK- socially awkward, confused-lesbo reporting here. It works, and it's enjoyable for both parties, or at least I believe so, she didn't pull away or reposition, she leaned into me. We just talked about everything while our other friends were outside. Except that night, which was sort of eating at me, but I didn't want to bring that up. It's pretty much perfect.
After talking for awhile, we decided we should get up and go see what else is going on outside. I feel a tension lingering in the air. Not a bad tension, but more of a, I guess, sexual tension? Bestfriend and I get up and make our way to my kitchen (there is a door that allows one to exit to the outside, it's weird, I know) but we lock gazes. It's like one of those heart-throbbing in your ear, body numbing, butterflies, knot in the back of your throat, blushing- kind of looks we exchange. And I'm about 99.9% positive this is a mutual feeling. So I pull her into me- feeling our skin touch was like setting off a million fireworks in my body- it was amazing. It was well beyond what I thought it would be like. She didn't pull away, and I didn't either. It just kind of happened, it was like I had no control over myself and she didn't either. Our lips brushed ever so softly and it set my whole body on fire. That happened. That fucking happened. What have I done? Did I just fuck up? Wtf was I thinking?
Fast forward, and we shared another kiss later that night. As the evening expired, she slept in my bed (like always) while our other friends shared the guest bedroom. Nothing happened, nor did I expect or even want it to. I was happy. The next day, I had to leave to come back to school. When I left we hugged and exchanged goodbyes. Maybe we were just fucked up? No, we weren't, but I didn't bring it up and neither did she. So, here I am again. Confused as fuck. Our relationship has not suffered whatsoever. We still talk everyday. In fact, we probably talk more than we did before (if that's even possible). We just haven't talked about that night. I can not get her off of my mind, as if it wasn't bad enough before. She's all I think about, non-stop, day and night. We just work so well together. She makes me happy, and I'd like to fancy that I make her happy as well considering she keeps playing into this situation. It just feels right. But who knows, I could just be kidding myself. Anyways, I have no fucking clue what this means or where to go from here. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Talk about it? How? cringes at expressing feelings. However, I can confirm that I am, in fact, Kinsey 6 gay. Cheers.
If you made it to the bottom of this, you're amazing and the real mvp.
TL;DR I think my grandmother knows I prefer the P instead of the D. I kissed my bestfriend and I liked it- hope she don't mind it. Fuck. What the fuck do I do now? Too many feels.
submitted by throwaway2552552 to actuallesbians [link] [comments]


2013.10.19 04:53 tabledresser [Table] IamA writer, director, and actor. I wrote the screenplay for American Psycho! AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-10-18
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Who's the worst director you've ever worked with and why is it Uwe Boll? Yeah, Uwe was tough. He yelled at me. No one is allowed to yell at me.
off, American-Psycho is one of my favorite movies. Everything about it is just phenomenal. So, thank you for writing it. What was the most challenging part of writing that movie? How do you feel Christian Bale did in his portrayal of Bateman? Did he improvise or ad-lib any of his lines? Thank you! I think Christian was flawless. So good. No improv or ad lib there. The only thing he did that wasn't in the script was to moonwalk right before he kills Jared Leto. Which I thought was genius, but Bret Ellis wrote in an article that he thought it was too much.
With a great resume, how come you need to crowd source for Creeps? Is the market for original content dead? Crowd funding is how indie films are getting made these days! Little movies don't tend to make money like they used to, so big money people aren't putting themselves on the line as much. Plus crowd funding is a cool way to interact with fans and potential fans. Nerve wracking, but exciting!
Do you make films for the crowd funding? This question makes no sense to me. The crowd funding is the hard part you do so you can do the also hard part of making the film!
What's considered "little?" I would say under 5 million.
But how do you get crowd funding? Like by releasing a small bit of what you want the final product to be? Oh I get your question - everyone does it differently, depending on their budget. Go look at indiegogo and kickstarter and look at films. Its all different. I used puppets in mine because I don't have the actors yet!
When you wrote the screenplay, was Christian Bale your top choice for Pat Bateman? Are there any other actors you would've preferred over him? When Christian came in, we were sold immediately. Even though it was before he got all tan and buff and perfect. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else. We actually offered it to Billy Crudup before we met Christian, but he turned it down. I wonder how he feels about that now. And I don't even mean that sarcastically - I really do wonder how he feels about it.
don't forget all of the talk about maybe DiCaprio taking the role... Oh who could forget that? It was more than talk, it was a Variety announced 20 million dollar offer from Lions Gate at the Cannes Film Festival. That was some craziness but luckily it all came back down to earth and Mary Harron got to direct and Christian got to be Bateman.
When you wrote the screenplay, how did you feel it would be accepted to the public? Do you feel the movie is better today than it was then (cult status?) ? It's funny - I feel like the movie is much more popular now than when it first came out. I was just talking with the director about it the other day - and we were saying "Were we ahead of our time?" Not everyone loved it back then. My friend Kevin Smith saw it and then cancelled a dinner date with me. Years later I ran into him and he said "I really hated it at first, and I didn't know what to say to you, but I recently saw it again and it's genius!"
I see no mention of Bloodrayne, which is outrageous. Any stories about Uwe Boll? I heard he used your first draft as the shooting script for Bloodrayne. I think he is one of the few directors who has grown a lot. Rampage and Assault on Wall Street easily his best films. BloodRayne! My finest work. If you want to see me talk all about working with Uwe, watch a documentary called Tales from the Script. I talk all about it, and don't hold back. Even do an impersonation of him. Also it is a good documentary.
My gf wants to know, is it weird that someone has had a crush on you since they were 19 (now aged 38!)? How do you feel knowing that by simply sharing your talent you have had such a fundamental impression on someone's life? Ha ha Tracy it is weird but good! I just met a woman the other day who said she fell in love with me from the poster and decided she was gay. Awesome! The more people I can turn gay the better.
How did you feel when you wrote the screenplay ? Im a really big fan of the novel and film. I felt pretty darn good! I thought it was funny and I really hoped other people would too. Mary Harron and I laughed a lot while writing it.
Well thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I am a really big fan of your work, amd cant wait to see what you come out with next ! Well Bowser88, it's coming in the form of a film called Creeps! More dark comedy. But no serial killing in this one.
Did you draw anything from real life when writing American Psycho? Not really. I mean I guess it helped to have dismembered a few bodies in my youth, but other than that, no.
Would you ever write stuff for online shows? e.g. shows that are on youtube. Weirdly I'm pretty gay for Owen Wilson. I would love to make a movie and cast him as a butch lesbian.
I would totally do that. There's some cool stuff out there.
So it IS all in his head in the film? I need an answer!!! (PS. I love you). Edit: Also, why the shit is the screen writer of one of the most amazing films being down voted for personal opinions of their own script? Thank you! I am trying to clarify and I get down voted? Not cool!
In your opinion, did Pat Bateman kill all those people, or was it just a psychotic episode? "In my opinion"? I would think that whatever I think is what the truth is, and not just an opinion. But seriously, the book is ambiguous, but we wanted him to be REALLY killing people in the movie. Which we kind of failed at because people still ask that question. But we kind of didn't fail because people argue about it. And you win if you've made a movie that people are talking about!
As a writer looking to get into writing for television - what the hell do I do?! I've got a few spec scripts (original pilots and tv specs) and I'm planning to do the usual fellowship applications this upcoming year (ABC, NBC, Disney, Nicholl, etc.) but that's about all I got! I know it's the usual 1 in a million shot, but do you have any specific advice to give to a fellow writer? I really don't know! It's competitive and writers' rooms are smaller and smaller. I only got my job in TV because I'm gay.
So I guess I am saying "Be gay."
What music are you into? odd question, but did you know stephin merrit or claudia gonson while growing up in boston? My experience at SLC was amazing. Drugs, sex, and a fantastic education. Love that place. An ex-girlfriend of mine used to say "You know what they taught you at that school? They taught you how to act rich!" That made me laugh. Acting rich is actually a useful skill.
Hey, you were the one who said "get up here and sing, bitch!" in chasing amy. woa, cool. I was totally the "get up here and sing, bitch!" girl in Chasing Amy. Also I was responsible for the location - we shot in my friends lesbo bar called Meow Mix. And notice Joey Lauren Adams is wearing lots of rings - she told me it was her homage to me. I wore lots of rings in the 90s.
Are there any fiction writers (novel or short story) whose work you particularly like? Have you read much of Bret Easton Ellis' other works? There are a million! I am a huge fan of Joyce Carol Oates, and I rabidly read short fiction anthologies. I've read Bret's The Informers - that was some wacky shit!
I just finished American Psycho for the billionth time. The credits literally just stopped rolling on the screen. Also watched Dogma again the other day. When trying to adapt something from a book to the screen what do you take into consideration? Meaning, how do you decide what gets in and what gets left out? Thanks for doing this! My pleasure! There is no real formula to adaptation - and American Psycho really defied adaptation because there are whole chapters that are just rants and no plot. We had to come up with the idea that when he starts to rant about music, shit is going to hit the fan.
Go Fish is one of my favourite movies of all time - meant a lot to me when it came out for being so rare! Thank you for all the effort it took to make it and make sure we got to see it! Glad you liked Go Fish! I watched it recently with director Rose Troche at a screening and we were laughing so hard that we had to eject ourselves from the theater. WHAT AM I WEARING?!
How do you balance acting and writing at the same time? Do you prefer one over the other? I love both. I am a Gemini. I write until I get lonely, then I act until I hate everybody and want to be alone again. It works out nicely.
Hah! It was a different time, that's for sure. My friends and I were so happy to have something out there that validated our existence, we forgave a lot. Not to mention that you might have been wearing something similar, maybe?
Hells, yes! In fact, I still have the butchered purple flannel I was likely wearing while watching it. Ha ha. The first step is admitting you have a problem.
Are you willing to write a screen play for the "canadian psycho"? do you know him? I am not familiar with this Canadian psycho of which you speak...
I've probably written a novel at this point but then I read it and hate it so I throw it all out and start over. Does this ever happen to you? If so, how do you deal with it? Of course! I hate things that I write all the time! And I have many many screenplays that gather dust in the corner. I deal with it by drinking heavily and crying myself to sleep.
Unlike 10 or 15 years ago, there are now SO many ways to show independent films these days. What is your opinion about where the industry is going for both better and worse? How is this impacting your current funding campaign? OK Mr. Serious Business! I don't know where the heck the industry is going! Everyone says it's all about TV now. And it really is. There is so much good stuff on TV.
HAHA, Sorry, didn't mean to come off cold and business like! A lot of people I know are comparing the movie business today to the wild west in the sense that people are still looking for where to find their "gold mine". If that makes any sense... :-) Yep, you just never know. Movies like Blair Witch Project and The Crying Game keep us all hopeful and hungry to be the next big thing!
So I haven't read the book, but it turns out a lot of what happens in Patrick Bateman's Head. How much of the film takes place in his mind? Or does it all? I think Bret meant meant it to be all in his head, but we certainly did not. Things get a bit skewed towards the end, and he's seeing things because he's losing his mind (an ATM that says "Feed ME a stray cat") but he's really killing people.
Is there something that was cut from American Psycho that you wish could have been in the film? No, nothing. But I wish Mary hadn't made me lie on the bathroom floor naked covered in fake blood when you can't even tell it's me!
How did you feel about the sequel? And how would you feel about an eventual remake? Ha ha the sequel was quite a piece of work. A remake would be interesting, but... why? (I didn't mean why did you ask I meant why would anyone want to do that?)
What are some tips for beginning screenwriters/directors as to how to begin their first project? Sit down, stop talking about it, and start writing. And remember that it's almost always easier to rewrite something than to stare at a blank screen, so get some words down and get over yourself!
Is your next film going to be as crazily radical as American Psycho? If so I want to see it now now now exclamation point. Yes "crazily radical" is what I am generally going for! No death in Creeps though. Unless you count the death of souls.
I'm sorry if this isn't a question about you (I've loved everything I've seen you in, though), but I don't think I'll get another chance to ask this. Mary Harron is one of my favourite filmmakers, but it has been eight years since The Notorious Bettie Page (I know she made the Moth Diaries more recently, but that film was so disappointing). Is there a reason why she's not working much anymore? Is there some blacklist I'm not aware of, or is it for the same reason that so few women get director work in the American film industry? No blacklist! She recently directed the Anna Nicole Smith movie on Lifetime, and she has also directed a lot of TV. I don't think it's a woman director thing - its just hard to get movies made. Don't worry, she's working on it!
How did working in Britain on Preaching to the Perverted compare with making films in the US? And are you on board for the sequel that a little bird told me Stuart Urban is currently writing? Working in Britain you break for tea no matter what! So that's cool. And hell yes! I will be in Stuart's movie. Excited to go back to London. Probably won't be able to party like I did back then. Whew.
2 things--- 1) GENIUS and 2) what kind of porn do you enjoy? 2 things back 1) me or you? and 2) you first.
I loved American Psycho! My friend and I have been quoting it non- stop for the past few weeks and it made me realize how wonderfully written it was. What is your favourite of Bateman's lines in the entire movie (mine is probably "Your compliment was sufficient Louis..")? Hmmm... I think it has to be "Sabrina, don't just look at her ass, eat it." Though I do also like "I don't like Huey - he's too... Black sounding." Mr. Bale certainly can deliver a line.
What was your favorite part in American Psycho? OMG I've seen the movie so many times that it changes. There is a moment that was a total Reese Witherspoon invention, where she is in a restaurant with Patrick and he is trying to break up with hetell her he's a serial killer and she looks across the room and points to her ring finger and mouths "Love it!" It's just one of those perfect movie moments that says it all.
My favorite part is when Patrick Bateman records that phony answering machine message You mean "Hasta La Vista, Baby"? Now THAT is something I made up, that isn't in the book. Director Mary Harron was like "What is that?" and I had to tell her about Tone Loc and how people said that a lot in the 80s. At least people I knew.
Do you think Scott Disick could pull off playing Patrick Bateman? What I don't know about Scott Disick could fill a warehouse!
OMG I love your work and I can't wait to see your next film! What are you working on right now? I'm raising money through Indiegogo to direct a film that I wrote called Creeps. Its a comedy, it's gay, its dark - good times!
I am one of the few who like American psycho upon its theatrical release. One thing I find funny is that I thought it took place in modern times when it was released, and I didn't realize it was an 80s setting until I saw Reagan on the tv at the end! I was just curious if minimizing the 80s stuff was intentional ? No, we were trying to go all the way with the 80s stuff. In truth, I think it was too close to the 80s for it to stand out as much as it does now. (Even though it came out in 2000)
How did you feel about the direction The L Word went in in the latter seasons? So glad you are doing this, I have been a fan for about 15 years. Thanks! I actually didn't watch the latter seasons. Mostly because everyone was always complaining about it to me, and I wasn't working on the show anymore, so there was nothing I could do! So I just stopped watching so I could respond with a blank expression.
All of the most successful people in the entertainment industry are Illuminati or Scientologists. Do you think this is a coincidence or are the rumors true? Drama! I think that's a bit of an overstatement. Certainly the Church of Scientology has some pretty successful members, but, you know, sometimes people are just talented and hard working. For real.
Did you have any interaction with Bret Easton Ellis when writing the screenplay? If so, what's he like? Yes we hung out with him quite a bit actually. He's funny, as you might expect. Dry witted, fun to hang with. We had a great time. It's so great to be able to hang with the novelist while you are writing the screenplay- its own kind of insight into the text.
So let's say I'm a person who is only familiar with you via documentaries like Tales From the Script and the Indie Sex series, and yet is fascinated and wanting to learn more...what work of yours - acting, writing, directing - should I start with? I would say American Psycho is pretty popular - and it's good. And not as violent as you might think from the title. But don't get me wrong, blood spatters and people die!
How did you get into your job? Made a movie in 1994 called Go Fish out of a need to see a lesbian film that spoke to us and our world. It was all downhill from there...
That book horrified me, and I loved it. How did you feel about American Psycho? The book? Horrifying indeed! Rough rough rough! Some things I wish I had never read. But had to read a million times.
How do you feel about this? I think it's hilarious! I love mistakes in movies. I bet Gideon Ponte, the production designer, isn't too thrilled.
I'm taking a writing for film class at High Point University. My teacher wrote Heat Wave and Possession. He want's us to write a script ourselves but I can't seem to think of anything good. Can I get some suggestions? That's a hilarious question to ask a screenwriter. If I had something good, I would hoard it carefully!
What do you remember the most about a young Kevin Smith and a young Scott Mosier when they were showing "Clerks" at Sundance and you were showing "Go Fish"? Ah the salad days. They had a whole lot of questions about lesbians and it cracked me up.
Who are you super gay for? Whoops. I answered this question in the wrong spot! See below, re: Owen Wilson.
I noticed you're raising money for your next movie "Creeps." I already supported you on Indiegogo. What else can I do to help out? I really love your work and want to see more of it! Thank you thank you! You can help by telling other people about it!
Do you remember the decision to leave out, I think the chapter was titled.. 'Killing Small Child at Zoo'? I thought this was one of the most hilarious parts of the book, just the way Bateman deadpans and it is an exaggeration of all the ridiculous evil stuff going on Yes of course - we just had to pick our violent scenes carefully and let some go even if they were good. You will notice when he makes his confession into the phone toward the end, I tried to put every gnarly thing he did in the book in that speech.
What is...your name? Sorry I'm ignorant. Loved the movie though, brilliant work. Ummm... Guinevere Turner?
Im late to the party but I want to say that American Psycho is a masterpiece. The dialogue about Phil Collins always cracked me up, how did this scene develop? In the book there are entire chapters that are just rants about different 80s artists. We transposed that into a monologue. If you read the book, there are more!
I would like to say thank you for making the fine piece of work that is American Psycho. I started to read the book and couldn't imagine the detail orientation that had to be put into the script. How was it making the script and not being able to put how Bateman literally describes everything in its smallest detail yet still portraying how psychotic he is? I think that Christian's super taut, controlled manner and his almost monotone voice that also sounds on the verge of hysteria tells a story all on its own. He just seems super nuts!
Do you like what you write ? I like some of it, I hate some of it, and some is just OK. Luckily usually the stuff I like is the stuff that the world sees. (Usually.)
Any connection with Hitchcocks' film Pyscho? Just noticed the last names of the killers in the film are Bateman and Bates. Bateman is the novelist Bret Ellis' name/creation, so maybe... but I don't know.
Someone below you disagrees, hence the question. No one can disagree with me on whether it is all in his head in the movie. I wrote the script. Or I guess they can "disagree" all they want. It's not really a matter of opinion.
If it's all in his head, there's no point to the film. The theme and statement depends on it being real. Let us not forget that a film based on a book can have a different point than the book.
He's insane. THATS the point, its all in his head. He literally leaves bodies in the tub, then comes back and theres an open house going on. Or... maybe... the world he lives in is so desensitized and commerce based that they just cleaned that shit up and kept it quiet because they want to sell the place...
I am not familiar with this Canadian psycho of which you speak... OK, my friend just told me about it. Why on EARTH would you think I know that guy? WTF?
I appreciate the honesty, and I'll give it my best shot! It's not easy, but you know, some of us manage, for the sake of our careers.
American Psycho was fantastic. One of my favorites of all time. Glad you like. I like it too. The funny thing is that it might have taken me a while to see it if I wasn't part of making it (and in it) because I am really scared of scary movies.
American psycho is ny fav movie of all time. perfectly done. Wow. Thank you. Will pass that on to my pal Mary Harron.
Do you have to be in set while the movie is shot. if so, how was your relationship with the actors. What? What movie? What actors?
I'm laying in bed...hungover...and need a shit. I can't move out of fear of some leakage. You should transfer that fear to what just leaked out of your fingers and onto the internet.
Crisis averted. I loved Bloodrayne BTW. You and the five other people who saw it!
It didn't deserve the harsh criticism it received. Anyways, I thought it was great. :) I thought it was unintentionally funny, so that's something. And an underwater fight scene between Kristianne Lokken and Michelle Rodriguez never hurt anybody.
Last updated: 2013-10-22 20:52 UTC Next update: 2013-10-23 02:52 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
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2013.02.19 11:11 throwawayphoaway Extremely frustrated lately about everything regarding sex... Reddit, please help.

Note: I’m more of a browser then an entry writer on the wonderful world of Reddit, so please bear with me if I’m doing something(s) wrong in this entry. Thank you.
This may end up being a lengthy read, but here it goes… I just really need some advice. Its gonna end up being a bit of a “tell all”, so yeah. Bear with me please. 18F here. Virgin. Completely frustrated with everything sex related lately, which is stupid considering I’ve never even had it. So I guess I’ll start with some back story.
8 months ago, me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up. I’ll refer to him as Jim. Jim and I had an amazing relationship. Solid, no fighting, no on and off. It was great. But complications came around, and we decided to end things. The attraction for each other was still extremely strong, and we still love each other, so after a little bit of time, we started hooking up. The weird thing is that we had never done sex or fourplay while we were dating… Yes, 4 years of dating, and everything in the bedroom stayed PG. I’m talking dry humping, over the clothes fondling, tit play, and a few handjobs… Super minimal stuff. Anywho, one night in the summer, we had gotten drunk at a party (because that’s magically how all of these stories start) and we went back to my place to spend the night. In that one drunk hookup, we did (almost) all the things we didn’t do while we were together. I gave my first blowjob, he fingered me for the first time, he went down on me. It was insane. I was completely caught off guard. I had a condom on my bedside table for some reason (I think I got it as a joke gift in a birthday card), So Jim and I had the crazy idea to have sex right then. We got the condom on, he got on top of me, and right as he was about to insert, we both froze. We knew we shouldn’t, so we stopped right there. We were both still wasted, and satisfied with our shenanigans. He passed out soon after. I was still wide awake, completely shocked at what had just occurred, and I was starting to sober up. Jim had left his ipod on my bedside table, so I grabbed it and decided to just play some games for a bit. I wanted to check my facebook, so I opened the app, and Jims fb was logged in of course. My curiosity and stupidity got the best of me, and even though I knew it was wrong, I did it anyways. I started looking through Jims message history.. In the history, I found an extremely long string of messages from a younger girl we went to school with. Lets call her Jen. Jen and Jim apparently had some pretty flirty conversations. But whatever, he was single right? Wrong. Instead of reading their recent messages, I scrolled all the way back to their messages from early in the year, when him and I were still dating. Amongst the messages, Jim would slam me on a regular basis, talk shit about me, lie to Jen about what him and I did sexually, and he would constantly tell her that he “was in love with her” and wanted to be with her. I was devastated. At that point in time, when these messages were being exchanged, I was at my best friends bedside in the hospital because she was gravely ill with cancer. Jim wasn’t around much for me. When we decided to end our relationship, he made me feel like it was entirely my fault, and I was the only one to blame. So finding out about all this shit that was happening with Jen behind my back absolutely destroyed me. I broke into tears, starting screaming, and punched Jim awake. He was extremely confused until I showed him what I had been browsing through. He comforted me and tried to explain himself, saying that he was “extremely sorry” until I eventually calmed down. We talked things out for the rest of that night, and eventually tired ourselves and fell asleep. The next morning was awkward and difficult, and we decided to just focus on being friends. It was an action packed night, to say the least. After that, Jim and I did manage to become pretty good friends. But we also made pretty good “fool around buddies”, and so our fourplay hookups continued. These hookups have been occurring ever since.
That’s where my problem occurs. These hookups with my ex have been fucking with my head. I’ve been hooking up with other people, and have extreme regrets about it all, and I’m completely lost. My best friend (who shall be referred to as Kate) and I have been talking recently about being “experimental lesbo-play buddies”. Literally, me and my best friend want to start hooking up. We’re both straight (but bi-curious, obviously) and we’ve both been doing a lot of random hooking up lately, leading to regrets. Even though me and Kate are both virgins, we’re attractive, horny, and young. So we’ve been considering this “lesbian fun times deal” for awhile. It’ll be a way that we can both get sexual satisfaction without having to do random hookups with guys. We really wish we could bring someone else into this deal though, because Kate and I both want to practice blowjobs and stuff, but we don’t know who we can trust to ask. I’m looking forward to this experimenting with Kate, but I’m also pretty nervous. How do you go about hooking up with your best friend? It’s an odd thought really. Kicking things off is the hard thing, but I think it’ll be beneficial for us both in the long run. And we both equally want it. We both want to lose our virginities really badly, but we know we aren’t actually ready yet. So this might be a good way to curb the temptation and avoid making a mistake, right?
I don’t know where I’m going with this now, but I guess I just need to vent and help get some perspective/advice on my current situation.
Are my hookups with my ex bad? Do they really need to stop? What about my hookups with the other guys? Should I stop those as well? Is it wrong of me? Does it make me a bad person? Am I a slut because of it? Is my experimental lesbian deal with my best friend a good alternative? Pros and cons of it? Anything I should avoid during it? As for my virginity.. Should I just get it over with and finally start having sex? Should I wait? I have so many fears and I don’t think I can handle anymore regrets, but I also don’t think I can wait much longer.
All of this has been consuming my mind lately.. I can’t focus on anything else. I’m at a breaking point. People of /sex, please help me ease my mind and settle my fears and worries. Thank you.
TLDR: I have a ridiculously stupid sexual history, though I’ve yet to have sex. Regrets from random hookups. Complications with my ex. Considering a “lesbian hookup” type of deal with my best friend. Needing advice.
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2012.10.24 22:38 mrbojangles111 Coming off a bad relationship, not sure if ready for another (24/m from ex-24/f)

Hey, I could definitely use some advice on relationships/dating! I'll detail what I am going through now then talk about my last relationship that ended terribly.
A few months ago I had an ugly break up with my ex (lets call her Jill). Recently I have seen about 5 girls on dates, some multiple times. Although I typically have always enjoyed myself on these dates (the girls as well) I' m left with a feeling of "well now that the date is over, that's that." Sure the girl may contact me again to go on another date, over for dinner etc, and I comply and we have a good time but Im consistently left with a empty feeling. After a while the any one of the girls I am with catch on and I typically apologize for leading them on, which signifies the death of that relationship if you can call it that. I take a little break and move on to the new girl (met through online or through friends etc). I never considered these girls my girlfriend just more so something to do. It's strange, I can't explain it. I want to be in a relationship, I find certain girls I'm with very attractive physically and mentally but I just never pull the trigger to move the relationship to the next level. I feel like it was because of my last relationship...
So the backstory. Moved for grad school two years ago. I meet a new girl in most of my classes/ in my program. We become friends, work together with others on assignments/projects etc. After a while she ends up texting me and really making an effort for me to come see her at a sports game, out for a drink etc. To be honest I was pretty shy/never been in a dedicated relationship before so I took things verrry slow. After a while, we would bet on football games and the loser would have to pay up with breakfast (a group of us in our department would go out for breakfast before one of our early classes). I lost once and she took a couple days then told me would it be okay for to change it into dinner... At that point I was like oh, ok she likes me. Sure enough we go on dinnedrinks have a great time, talked about being exclusive, etc etc. Well that was early winter 2010, so that was that, in a relationship for the first time. Over the next 1.5 years we have an amazing time. We went travelling, she came back home to meet my parents (4000 km away) for christmas, I became very close with her parents (going on vacation with them, staying at their cottage basically twice a month for 3ish days at a time). Things we're great. Nothing was wrong....
Then all of a sudden in early spring 2012, she starts acting distant to me (oh we moved in together in Dec 2012), acting cold to me and just being mean. Sexually she was never in the mood, no matter what I tried, and obviously that frustrated me. But I was nice about it, never forced anything. However this behaviour continued for about 2 weeks. Sadly her past, was pretty bad relationship wise. From 17 to when we met she was in 3 major relationships (person A,B,C). With person A for 1.5-2 years, cheat (more so be in 2 relationships at one time) on him with person B. With person B for 2 years, made out/flirted with another guy. Then immediately after breaking up with B, she is with C (not the guy she flirted with). C ends after 2.5-3 years, again due to her have feelings and following them out on a different guy (roughly Sept/Oct 2010) and not surprisingly she began flirting/contacting me at Halloween that year... On early dates she had told me this. I replied like any sane person would saying how that's a pretty toxic string of relationships and not a very good sign, to which she replied she was young/stupid and didn't know what she wanted. And I believed that...
Anyway back to bad times in spring 2012, I end up confronting her. This sets off a huge range of emotions, her crying, saying im her best friend, she doesnt know whats wrong, she loves me x100 etc. Well I didn't know how to respond other then comforting her, hoping that the bad times will change...
And they kind of did, some days would be great, others not, so I still wasn't too satisfied (ESPECIALLY with her past relationship history). At then she began changing some of her habits, she would NEVER leave her phone in the open (not that I ever once looked at it), and if so she would turn it upside down. Now I know I might be nitpicking, but when something so obvious changes I begin to worry. I don't say nothing though. She would also be away some weekend due to travelling for a sport, which I was fine with. Well she goes away, and tells me she'll keep me posted on the game etc. She doesn't and I don't really care. Well she comes home with massacre on and I ask her and she laughs it off saying her friend said the same thing but she doesn't have any on. Ok I dropped it, but I am not dumb she clearly did (more alarm bells for me). She goes to bed, I jump on her lap top (like I almost always do, if she sleeps early and i want to kill some time on reddit). Well her facebook was open. And I know I shouldn't have looked but it was full of flirty messages with one of her coaches. Sigh, that hurt to see. I didn't know what to do. I didn't say nothing to her but talked to my brother asking for advice. Half of me wanted to break up with her, but I didn't - I figured I'd let it go and try to monitor the situation.
Well she now had been spending more time at practices, less with me, more odd little things popping up like massacre lie etc. I confront her again (not saying about facebook) and she gets defensive. I tell her I know you and I feel like something is up, I just mention the fact that if I look at your phone I feel like I'll see shit that you don't want me to. That upset her, which forced me to tell her lets look at your phone then which pissed her off - clearly hiding something. Sure enough I get her too, and she only shows a small sample of msgs from her friends, I tell her keep going and lo and behold msgs from the coach. There were many but she showed 1 talking about practice. Clearly choosing a safe one. I got what I wanted, that she was flirting behind my back. Again I didn't know what to do.
Days had passed and she began showing her phone anywhere and constantly got msgs from a girlfriend (who never msged her before). I was a bit suspicious and probably not my proudest moment I took a chance and looked at a few of the msgs one night (sadly it was an alias name, it was the coach). Again flirty msgs, some even insulting me. That sucked. I stayed up all night thinking. I woke her up that morning and ultimately left her with a decision. A) We try to work things out or B ) ID GIVE HER the EASY WAY OUT and break up. She chose A.
A few weeks went on, again mixed with good and bad days. We were even looking for a new place to live together (and one of our mutual friends- girl as a 3rd room mate). I thought things we're getting better, still seeing her parents etc. The flirting with the coach actually stopped for good, nothing appeared out of the ordinary. We signed a lease on a new place, visited her parents and their friends one weekend. Yet the Sat,Sun,Mon,Tues she was completely "off". Completely disinterested in me. I was worried a bit but felt like we signed a lease, life is good/ok! Well by Weds morning I had enough. Something was up again... and since she never initiated anything talking wise I asked her what was wrong. She said she doesn't know but wants to end the relationship. I wasn't surprised, I asked why and she had no answer. I said fine, and we went off to school. She took most of her stuff that night.
The next 5 days she had time to come get her remaining stuff, I was more then patient but wanted the stuff gone for obvious reasons, I was even nice enough to pack it all up by the door and organize it in an efficient way. Well she kept telling me she was busy... All weekend (which was May Long actually). Annoyed but whatever. I then heard she was in another relationship from a friend. I felt, well I don't know what I felt, pissed, not surprised I don't know. The only other thing I wasn't proud of was this, I checked her facebook (she shared me her pw before to look at pics, I dont have FB). And I found lots of msgs with a girl, who she is now in a relationship with. Blow to my ego? Yes. But I'll point out that persons B,C were both girls. Apparently this relationship was going on right under my nose, even when we signed the lease. So for 2 weeks she was in 2 relationships.
I was immensely angry. If I we're her best friend, why the fuck wouldn't she choose the easy way out? Why get me involved in a new place when I clearly won't be living there? (why you ask, well because it was her plan all along to move into the place with our mutual friend and not me, she didn't even check with our friend if that was ok, she just assumed it was. Our friend wasn't happy about it but ended up following her to the new place anyway) Why invite me to see your parents (who were fucking amazing people btw) and meet your family friends DAYS before we broke up? So many whys that weren't justified.
The next morning I texted her saying "your stuff will be outside my apartment in 30 minutes, I'd suggest getting here quickly before the people start stealing". I knew she was at school, her car not there, and it might be a bit of a stretch for her to get it, but fuck her. Oh, and it may or may not have been raining slightly. She ended up coming hours later and I didn't make an effort to see her, and didn't say nothing. She texted me so many times asking why I was being a prick etc, but just ignored them all and continued you to do so for several days. She even tried emailing me but I ignored it, contacted my brother saying "she was worried about me, I was acting weird for no reason".
Well over a week later she contacts me saying we had a good run bla bla bla, friends bla bla bla. She didn't know that I knew about her new relationship. I told her what I did and basically told her to fuck off. She then said more lies, acting stupid, pretending nothing happened. She did this for days and I just ignored them. How can people lie so easily? I never do and it pisses me off when people do it to me and I know they're lying/think I'm a moron. I didn't understand for a while, why she was trying to be nice to me for no reason? Then it hit me. I was in contact with her parents after we broke up, through emails, and they both knew absolutely nothing of my their daughters past relationships. They thought I was her first, let alone didn't know of her lesbo actions. I didn't say nothing to her Dad (who I was closer with). I thanked him for what he gave me, and said honesty was an issue and left it that. He replied nicely and that was that.
A week or so later he msgs me saying that Jill would like to be friends, that in fact I was Jills first relationship, and that she ended it because she couldnt see herself living with me 10 years from now... This really set me off. I'm a calm guy, but after a month of lies. I sent her dad saying that, that msg was all bullshit, he was interested in the truth so I told him, everything. Was it my place, of course not. I do regret it but at the time I didn't. Well that was that. I haven't been in contact with Jill or anyone in her family since then. Well she msged me once asking for an item, months after the breakup and I ignored it for some time until she kept pestering me. I then told her its been months, I dont know which triggered some "I thought you were a decent guy, I guess not" shit. Funny? I thought so, coming from her. It's been 5 months since the breakup.
Anyway holy crap that was long. I thought I cut it down, not mentioning a lot of the shit she did but ya haha.
TL:DR Coming off a ugly relationship breakup can't seem to hit it off with anyone else. Left with empty feeling, not sure what I want. Thoroughly confused when in comes to being with someone else.
submitted by mrbojangles111 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


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